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Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
Only when a mosquito lands on your testicles... do you learn to solve problems without violence.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.
Did you hear about the big hole at the intersection in town? Police are looking into it.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A women asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
We're expecting such a cold winter, the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far, 3 of my relatives have disappeared.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psycology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid stand up!" After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
I don't know how to use TikTok, but I can write in cursive, do long division, and tell time on clocks with hands... so there's that.
They should put more wine in a bottle... so there's enough for two people.
What kind of hats do doctors wear?
A knee cap.
