A man enters a pharmacy and quietly walks around for a minute or two, then finally approaches the lady behind the counter. "May I speak to the pharmacist, please?", he asks. The lady responds, "I am the pharmacist." The man asks if there is a male pharmacist, and the lady pharmacist responds, "No, but please don't be concerned, I have been a pharmacist, and my sister and I have owned this pharmacy, for many years, and there is nothing you could ask that would be embarrassing to us. "Well . . ", the man hesitantly says, "I have this problem . . . I have a perpetual erection, and I was wondering what you could give me for it." The pharmacist responds, "Let me discuss this with my sister, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." After a few minutes, the pharmacist returns and says, "My sister and I have given it much thought and have decided that the best we could do is $20,000 and half of the business."
After losing in last night's Powerball, I've decided to declare myselft the winner and to file lawsuits until I win!
When one door closes, another one opens. This is the last time I'm buying a used car.
Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.
I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said, "Remove cap and push up bottom." Now I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely!
Wife, "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Husband, "Excellent idea!" Wife, "Ok, you stand at the sink and wash the dishes and I'll be on the couch and watching tv."
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him next time not to leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
