Joke: I used to have a job cleaning mirrors but I couldn't see myself doing it for a living.
Joke: If you can't read it then pull the side of your eyes while reading it, like you are Japanese, it will come to you.
Joke: A Buddhist goes up to a hotdog vendor and says "make me one with everything".
Joke: If you don't know what this is don't ever join the Army. You don't even know an ambush when you see one.
Joke: Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're really making headlines.
Joke: I was time traveling yesterday but I got hungry, so I went back four seconds.
Joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes? ...no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? ....still no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs having sex? ...still fucking no eye deer.
Joke: if Geico ever fired the gecko that would be a reptile disfunction.
Joke: Did you ever hear about the Ohno bird? It has two-inch long legs and a four-inch cock. Every time he lands you can hear him say "ohno ohno"
Joke: The reason you can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom is because the pee is silent.