«
1
2
...
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
...
200
201
»

Thinks He's A Chicken Joke

I have a friend that's a little nuts. He thinks he is a chicken sometimes. I probably wouldn't hang around with him much but I can use the eggs.

Pet Store Pun

The local pet store is having a free giveaway on birds today...no perches necessary.

Brain Transplant Pun

I was going to get a brain transplant...then I changed my mind.

Restaurant On The Moon Pun

I would never open a restaurant on the moon....no atmosphere.

Lenin Tomb Pun

Lenin's tomb is a communist plot.

Bowl Of Pretzels Pun

This guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says "Hey, you're really good looking." The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels and orders a beer. The bowl of pretzels then says "Ooooh, a beer, great choice." Starting to freak out, the guy says to the bartender "Hey what the hell, this bowl of pretzels keeps saying nice things to me!" the bartender replies "Don't worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary."

Emergency Room Pun

A guy ends up in the emergency room from eating bad horse meat. The doctor told his family he's in stable condition.

Steaks In A Bar Pun

A man walks into a bar and there is a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. The man asks the bartender what's the deal with the meat and the bartender explains that if you jump up and slap a piece of meat you get to drink free for the night, but if you miss you have to buy drinks for everyone in the bar. So the bartender asks him if he wants to go for it. The guy tells him, "I can't, the steaks are just too high."

Three Moles Pun

Three moles had been burrowing underground when the first one says "did you smell something sweet, it smelled like candy?' The second one said he smelled something sweet but it was more like honey. The one at the back of the line told them "I smelled something but it didn't smell sweet, it smelled like mole asses!"

Never Tell A Lie Joke

A kid keeps lying to his father so the dad buys a lie detector robot who will slap him if he tells a lie. The next morning the father asks his son where he was the night before. "I was at Joeys house doing my homework" The robot slaps him. His dad says that was a lie and asks what was he really doing. The kid says "we were watching Toy Story" and he gets slapped again. When he asks again what were you really doing, the kid admits they were watching porn. "See when you tell the truth you won't get slapped". The dad then says "when we were kids we didn't even have porn" The robot then slaps the father. The mom laughs and says" well he is you kid after all". So the robot slaps the mom.

«
1
2
...
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
...
200
201
»