JOKES INDEX

Joke: She said she missed me. Normally, that would be good... But she's reloading.

Joke: I left my ex-girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting.....I wonder what she's up to now?

Joke: I've no idea why my new plug in air freshener won't work, I plug it in and switch it on.. nothing!....It just doesn't make scents.

Joke: Me & my mates were at an Indian restaurant & some guys started throwing rice at us. So we threw rice back at them....We had a pilau fight.

Joke: I'm terrified of skipping ropes, bungees and trampolines....They make me jump.

Joke: My whole life I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair... Somehow, I just knew.

Joke: A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don’t know, some dumb woman asking if the coast is clear."

Joke: Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.

Joke: I went to McDonald's and slammed ten bucks on the counter and said, "Surprise me! Because I never get what I ask for anyway!"

Joke: Doctor: Your girlfriend Is pregnant. Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have sex. Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the condom broke? Guy: No I'm sure it didn't. Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story... A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts BANG at the tiger. The tiger died. Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger. Doctor: Exactly.