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Taking My New Girlfriend To Meet My Parents Joke

My new girlfriend and I were driving to my parents, when she got a flat tire. So, I called my parents and said, "Sorry mom, we're going to be late. My girlfriend's got a puncture." "Oh!", she sighed. "I thought you had a real one this time."

Hotel Restaurant Joke

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her. "This is so embarrassing." the woman says, and she popped her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods. The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming women I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

Chewing Electric Cords Joke

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I grounded him. He's doing better currently. And conducting himself properly...

Cell Phones Joke

I finally realized it. People are prisoners of their phones... that's why they are called Cell Phones!

Condensation In Home Joke

Does anyone know how to stop condensation in my home? Please call, the kettle is always on.

Pro's And Con's

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Clone Jokes

We should ban jokes about clones... they're all the same!

How Late Do Cows Stay Up Joke

How late do cows stay up?

My Wife's Birthday

My Wife's birthday is coming up in a few months. She's leaving jewelry catalogs around the house. Think I'll buy her a magazine rack.

Pack Of Pigmy's Joke

What's the difference between a pack of pigmies and a women's track team?

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