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Joke: Shot my first turkey today. Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!
Joke: A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Joke: Someone asked me what to do with leftover bacon. I've never heard of that kind of bacon.
Joke: I'm on the tequila diet. So far I've lost 2 days.
Joke: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
Joke: What is a pirates favorite fast food place?
Joke: Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. Fine, it was pizza, I ate pizza.
Joke: I just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
Joke: Does your family say a prayer before you eat food? Nope, we're Italian, my mom knows how to cook.
Joke: To me, essential oils are what drips out of a taco.