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Joke: How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?
Joke: I ate a donut without sprinkles... Diets are so hard!
Joke: If you had to choose between eating tacos everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life - would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Joke: I'll tell you why I can't lose weight... I've got metal fillings in my teeth and the refrigerator magnets keep pulling me into the kitchen.
Joke: I was kicked out of my cooking class for stealing. I still think it was a whisk worth taking.
Joke: This girl said she recognized me from some vegan restaurant but I knew I'd never met herbivore.
Joke: A lady goes to her dermatologist and he tells her to take milk baths for her skin condition. She goes to the grocery store and when an employee asks her if she needs help she explains that she needs enough milk to take a bath. The employee asked her if she wants pasteurized and she replies "no up to my shoulders should be fine".
Joke: A guy ends up in the emergency room from eating bad horse meat. The doctor told his family he's in stable condition.
Joke: How do you make pickle bread?
Joke: I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet... I get hungry.