Food Jokes Page 1 of 2 Fart.com

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Breakfast Bar

Whenever I try and eat healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers!

A Funny Banana Joke

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Food Jokes — A Funny Banana Joke Joke Meme.

Sheep Covered In Chocolate Joke

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

Forbidden Fruit Joke

How many bites of the forbidden fruit did Adam and Eve take?

Pickle Bread Pun

How do you make pickle bread?

Food Jokes — Pickle Bread Pun Joke Meme

Chicken Salad Joke

What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Sam And Ellas Diner Joke

Be careful when you eat at Sam and Ella's diner.

Tequila Diet

I'm on the tequila diet. So far I've lost 2 days.

Food Jokes — Tequila Diet Joke Meme

Butcher Overtime Joke

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

Mile Bath Pun

A lady goes to her dermatologist and he tells her to take milk baths for her skin condition. She goes to the grocery store and when an employee asks her if she needs help she explains that she needs enough milk to take a bath. The employee asked her if she wants pasteurized and she replies "no up to my shoulders should be fine".

Chef Jokes

I am forever disappointed the Chef Boddy Flay didn't name his daughter Sue.

Taco Tuesday Joke

Seven days without a taco makes Juan weak!

Midnight Snack

I woke up to drink some water in the middle of the night and I accidentally ate a whole pizza and cheesecake.

Losing Weight Jokes

I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me!

Potato Turned To The Dark Side Joke

What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark Side?

Pizza Joke

I have a joke about pizza... It's a little cheesy!

Pig Hired At A Restaurant Joke

Why did the pig get hired at the restaurant?

Shrinking Clothes

All this time I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. It turns out it was the refrigerator!

Picking Berries

When Gathering Berries... You have to be picky!

Hot Garlic Joke

What does garlic do when it gets hot?

Worm In An Apple Joke

What's worse than a worm in an apple?

Egg On The Barn Joke

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

Cooking With Wine

Tried cooking with wine last night, after 5 glasses,... I forgot why I was in the kitchen.

Dolly Parton Diet

My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet.... It really made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe Lean, Joe leannnnn!

Not Your Cheese Joke

What kind of cheese can never be yours?

Mom's Lunch Joke

What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?

What Did The Egg Say To The Boing Water Joke

What did the egg say to the boing water?

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Why did the boy eat waffles for breakfast, lunch and dinner?

Cooking Joke

I yelled into a colander while cooking... now my voice is strained.

Witch At The Beach Joke

What do you call a witch that lives at the beach?

Caught Steeling In Cooking Class Joke

I was kicked out of my cooking class for stealing. I still think it was a whisk worth taking.

Emergency Room Pun

A guy ends up in the emergency room from eating bad horse meat. The doctor told his family he's in stable condition.

Diet Joke

I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet... I get hungry.

Hamburger Gym Joke

Why did the hamburger go to the gym?

Halloween Ghost Favorite Food Joke

What's a ghosts favorite food?

Diet Rule #1 Joke

If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

Why Are There Pop-tarts But No Mom-tarts?

Why are there Pop-tarts but no Mom-tarts?

A Pool Filled With Tacos Joke

What do you call a pool filled with tacos?

Chrome Plate Joke

A man went to his dentist because he has a strange feeling in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything - meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "That's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It has eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

Treadmill Joke

I just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

True Love Always

Ladies, if he is... is hot, always smells good, makes your mouth water, tastes amazing, leaves you feeling happier than ever... That's not your man. That's a taco!

Chocolate Syrup Ice Cream Joke

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?

Weight Loss Scam Joke

I want to lose weight but I don't want to get caught up in one of those "eat right and exercise" scams.

Vegetarian Joke

My neighbor told me he is a vegetarian.⁠.. I told him I thought that was a big missed steak.⁠

Pig Sunbathing Joke

Why did the pig stop sunbathing?

Fastest Liquid Joke

Why is milk the fastest liquid on earth?

Monster Cooked Eggs Joke

How do monsters like there eggs cooked?

Cheeto Diet Joke

I couldn't understand why I couldn't lose weight. Turns out there were saying KETO, not Cheeto!

Monkey Say To Banana Joke

What did the monkey say to the banana?

Fresh Thanksgiving Turkey

Shot my first turkey today. Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!

Broken Tomato Joke

How do you fix a broken tomato?

Monster School Menu Joke

What's on the lunch menu at Monster School?

Demon Breakfast Joke

What do demons eat for breakfast?

Are You A Banana Joke

Are you a banana?

Crying Strawberry Joke

Why was the strawberry crying?

Why Are Vampires Afraid Of Cows?

Why are vampires afraid of cows?

What Do Lemons Say When They Answer The Telephone?

What do lemons say when they answer the telephone?

Tacos Vs Skinny Joke

If you had to choose between eating tacos everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life - would you choose hard or soft tacos?

Serving Size

I was born a boy, but according to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, I am a family of four.

Pig Thief Joke

What do you call a pig thief?

Used Grapes Jokes

If you advertise used grapes... Is that raisin awareness?

What Was Beethoven Favorite Fruit Joke

What was Beethoven favorite fruit?

One Sad Coffee Coming Right Up!

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

What Do You Call A Holy Man Who Fries Potatoes

What do you call a holy man who fries potatoes?

Weight Loss Joke

I'll tell you why I can't lose weight... I've got metal fillings in my teeth and the refrigerator magnets keep pulling me into the kitchen.

Christmas Bakery Hideaway Joke

Who hides in the bakery at christmas?

An Avocado In Church Joke

What do you call an avocado in church?

Pastry Chef Love Joke

Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?

Cook An Alligator Joke

What's the best way to cook an alligator?

Pigs And Centipedes

What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?

Cookie Doctor Joke

When does a cookie go to see a doctor?

Gardening Season Joke

It's gardening season. 6 weeks ago I planted my arse on the sofa. It's grown considerably

Rasin Date Joke

Why did the raisin go out with the prune?

Carbs Are The Enemy

Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

Leftover Bacon?

Someone asked me what to do with leftover bacon. I've never heard of that kind of bacon.

Hawaiian Pizza

I just burnt this Hawaiian pizza. Guess I should have used aloha temperature.

How Do You Spell Orange Joke.

I never called you stupid, but when I asked you to spell "orange", and you asked me the fruit or the color it kinda caught me off guard.

Fried Chicken Joke

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too, especially chicken, pork, and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...

Intermittent Fasting Joke

For the new year, I've been trying intermittent fasting. So far I'm up to 12 minutes without eating and to be honest, I love the results!

Dog Flower Vegetable Joke

What do you get when you cross a dog, a flower and a vegetable?

Dog Eating Nuns

Two nuns have just arrived in the US and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs" "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Butter Rumor

Have you heard the latest rumor about butter?

Pizza Button On The Microwave.

I put a potato in the microwave and pushed the pizza button. The little bell rang but it was still a potato.

Teddy Bear Dessert

Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert?

Tortilla Factory Joke

Why did the baker open a tortilla factory?

Vegan Argument

If two vegans get into an argument... is it still considered a beef?

Fake Noodle Joke

What do you call a fake noodle?

Monster Dessert Joke

What is a monster's favorite dessert?

Polar Bear Favorite Food Joke

What do polar bears like to eat?

Jack And The Bean Stalk Joke

My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk.

McDonalds Order Joke

I went to McDonald's and slammed ten bucks on the counter and said, "Surprise me! Because I never get what I ask for anyway!"

Hard Tea Joke

What is the hardest tea to swallow!

Canned Meat Joke

If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don’t open it... It's Spam!

Thesaurus Breakfast Joke

What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Say Grace

Does your family say a prayer before you eat food? Nope, we're Italian, my mom knows how to cook.

Banana Goes To The Doctor

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Black Coffee

A new study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic behavior. And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to become their victims.

Nacho's Favorite Dance Joke

What's a nacho's favorite dance?

Gingerbread Man Treatment Joke

How did the gingerbread man treat his injured leg?

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