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Get your laugh on with this list of funny animal jokes.  Our animal jokes are family and kid-friendly. Have an animal joke you would like to share?  It's easy, sign up and submit your favorite animal jokes. 

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Joke:

Why did the farmer take the cow to the psychiatrist?

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Joke:

What do you call a cow with no legs?

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A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?

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100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.

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If a bird craps on your head, try to think positively. At least cows don't fly!

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Joke:

Why is the dog man's best friend?

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Little Lori was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Lori?" "My goldfish died," replied Lori tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Lori patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

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Joke:

Why do crabs never give to charity?

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What do you call a fish without eyes?

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

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What kind of animal needs to wear a wig?

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Joke:

What do kangaroos wear to work?

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The reason you can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom is because the pee is silent.

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A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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Joke:

Why did the pig hide the soap?

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What is the difference between a drinking establishment and an elephant's fart?

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Why should you be careful when it's raining cats and dogs?

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A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, ''That'll be $5000.'' The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, ''That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?'' The shopkeeper answered, ''Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.'' The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. ''That one's even more expensive - $10,000! What does it do?'' ''Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff,'' said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, ''That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?'' The shopkeeper replied, ''Well, I don't actually know, but the other two called him boss.''

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Joke:

A German Shepherd, a Doberman and a cat died. In heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in. The German Shepherd said, "I believe in discipline, training and loyalty to my master." "Good!" said God. "Sit at my right side." "Doberman, what do you believe in?" asked God. The doberman answered, "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master." "Aha," said God. "You may sit to my left." Then God looked at the cat and asked "And what do you believe in?" The cat replied, "I believe you're sitting in my seat."

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