441 WORD PLAY JOKES

Question 1

Breakfast Bar

Whenever I try and eat healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers!

Question 2

What Soft Drink Do Pigs Like Best?

What soft drink do pigs like best?

Question 3

You Know It Right?

It's CORN! + Who let the DOGS OUT? What is it?

Question 4

What Do You Do When Your Nose Goes On Strike

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?

Question 5

Melon Joke

Why do melons have weddings?

Question 6

Actress Suicide

Hey, did you hear about the actress Reese... something, who commited suicide?

Question 7

Bono And Edge Walk Into A Bar Joke

Bono and Edge walk into a bar. The bartender says,"Not U2 again."

Question 8

Bully Got Toasted

Bully got toasted because...

Question 9

What Did The Dog Say To The Tree Joke

What did the dog say to the tree?

Question 10

Wearing Glasses With A Mask

Did you know that people who have to wear glasses with their mask... may be entitled to condensation.

Question 11

Why Are Sandals So Indecisive Joke

Why are sandals so indecisive?

Question 12

Forbidden Fruit Joke

How many bites of the forbidden fruit did Adam and Eve take?

Question 13

Pig Halloween Costume Joke

What did the pig dress up as for Halloween?

Question 14

Wise Man Vs A Fool Joke

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.

Question 15

Tick Joke

Why can't ticks keep a secret?

Question 16

Landscape Joke

What is the funniest landscape?

Question 17

What’s Brown And Sticky

What's brown and sticky?

Question 18

Small Lizard Joke

Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?

Question 19

Chicken Salad Joke

What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Question 20

Hispanic Friends

I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Hispanic friends... It means a lot to them!

Question 21

Two Prostitutes

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!" "Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled . . . "Their sign pertains to religion." So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day found the same police officer in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read: "Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50.00."

Question 22

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

Two prawns were swimming around in the ocean. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area: Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn... He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again," Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian."

Question 23

What Part Of A Museum Has The Most Allergies?

What part of a museum has the most allergies?

Question 24

Tom The Turkey Joke

Tom the turkey played baseball... Unfortunately, he hit a fowl ball!

Question 25

Butterfly Dance Joke

Why wouldn't they let the butterfly in to the dance?

Question 26

Telling Dad Jokes

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!

Question 27

Pensive Treat

Which tree is the most pensive?

Question 28

Two Irishmen Joke

Two Irishmen saw the sign "Tree fellers wanted". The first Irishman said, "If Pat had been with us we'd have got that job."

Question 29

Ghost Sailor Halloween Joke

What do you get if you cross a ghost with a sailor?

Question 30

Frog Shoes Joke

What kind of shoes does a frog wear?

Question 31

What's She Selling On The Beach Joke

A couple lived near the ocean and walked the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing, she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them. Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her. After a couple of weeks, the wife asked, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?" He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing." Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife on the road. "Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. "No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. "Well, what is it, then?" his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said. "She's selling batteries." "Batteries?" cried the wife. "Yes," he replied. "She sells C cells by the Seashore."

Question 32

Grease Joke

I told my therapist that I couldn't get the Grease Soundtrack out of my head.

Question 33

Pig Mixes Colors Joke

What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?

Question 34

Sam And Ellas Diner Joke

Be careful when you eat at Sam and Ella's diner.

Question 35

Dentists Kids Joke

How do the kids of dentists get around the neighborhood?

Question 36

Leprechaun's Garden Joke

Why do Leprechauns like to garden?

Question 37

Optometrist Music Joke

What music do optometrists listen to?

Question 38

In Which River Are You Sure To Find Snakes?

In which river are you sure to find snakes?

Question 39

Butcher Overtime Joke

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

Question 40

Japanese Dog Hello Joke

How does a Japanese dog say hello?

Question 41

What Kind Of Cars Do Cats Drive Joke

What kind of cars do cats drive?

Question 42

Funny Farm Animals Joke

What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?

Question 43

Cow Friday Nights Joke

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

Question 44

Helping Out A Friend Joke

My friend was down in the dumps the other day so I let her color the tattoo on the top of my arm. She just needed a shoulder to crayon.

Question 45

A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Hey." The horse replies, "Sure!"

Question 46

Popular Dance In 1776 Joke

What was the most popular dance in 1776?

Question 47

Rich Rabbit Joke

What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?

Question 48

Kidnapped By Mimes Joke

I was kidnapped by mimes... They did unspeakable things to me.

Question 49

Rabbi Circumcision Joke

Do you hear about the Rabbi who didn't charge for circumcisions?

Question 50

Ipad Thief Joke

The guy who stole my iPad... He should FaceTime!

Question 51

Taco Tuesday Joke

Seven days without a taco makes Juan weak!

Question 52

Whisper In Clas Joke

Why can't you whisper in class?

Question 53

Skeleton Go To School Joke

Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?

Question 54

Joke Lol

Why do we tell actors to "Break a leg"?

Question 55

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

Question 56

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

What do you call a group of lions marching in the savannah?

Question 57

What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?

What kind of key opens a haunted house?

Question 58

Art Museum Joke

Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Question 59

Happy Dwarf Joke

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Question 60

French Stubbed Toe Joke

When French people stub their toe, do they say "Ow-Oui"?

Question 61

Pig Dressed In Black Joke

Why would a pig dressed in all black never get bullied?

Question 62

Paleontologists Joke

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.

Question 63

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don’t know, some dumb woman asking if the coast is clear."

Question 64

Laughing Dog Joke

What type a dog laughs at every joke?

441 WORD PLAY JOKES

Breakfast Bar

What Soft Drink Do Pigs Like Best?

You Know It Right?

What Do You Do When Your Nose Goes On Strike

Melon Joke

Actress Suicide

Bono And Edge Walk Into A Bar Joke

Bully Got Toasted

What Did The Dog Say To The Tree Joke

Wearing Glasses With A Mask

Why Are Sandals So Indecisive Joke

Forbidden Fruit Joke

Pig Halloween Costume Joke

Wise Man Vs A Fool Joke

Tick Joke

Landscape Joke

What’s Brown And Sticky

Small Lizard Joke

Chicken Salad Joke

Hispanic Friends

Two Prostitutes

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

What Part Of A Museum Has The Most Allergies?

Tom The Turkey Joke

Butterfly Dance Joke

Telling Dad Jokes

Pensive Treat

Two Irishmen Joke

Ghost Sailor Halloween Joke

Frog Shoes Joke

What's She Selling On The Beach Joke

Grease Joke

Pig Mixes Colors Joke

Sam And Ellas Diner Joke

Dentists Kids Joke

Leprechaun's Garden Joke

Optometrist Music Joke

In Which River Are You Sure To Find Snakes?

Butcher Overtime Joke

Japanese Dog Hello Joke

What Kind Of Cars Do Cats Drive Joke

Funny Farm Animals Joke

Cow Friday Nights Joke

Helping Out A Friend Joke

A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke

Popular Dance In 1776 Joke

Rich Rabbit Joke

Kidnapped By Mimes Joke

Rabbi Circumcision Joke

Ipad Thief Joke

Taco Tuesday Joke

Whisper In Clas Joke

Skeleton Go To School Joke

Joke Lol

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?

Art Museum Joke

Happy Dwarf Joke

French Stubbed Toe Joke

Pig Dressed In Black Joke

Paleontologists Joke

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

Laughing Dog Joke

Why Did The Author Put On A Sweater?

Another Personal Trainer Joke

Dog Zoo Joke

Pizza Joke

Steal A Coat Joke

Quiet Dog Joke

Science Book Joke

PhD In Dad Jokes

Marketing Joke

Condensation In Home Joke

Trick Or Treating With Twin Witches Joke

Sheep Vacation Destination Joke

Did You Know Alligator Vs Crocodile Joke

Zoo With No Dogs Joke

What Do You Get If You Are Allergic To Noodles?