Word Play Jokes Page 3 of 5 Fart.com

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Pig Nose Joke

What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Plastic Surgery Joke

Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

Word Play Jokes — Plastic Surgery Joke Joke Meme.

Lion In My Closet

I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there. He said Narnia business.

Horoscope Joke

My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes...it Taurus apart.

Bra Joke

The biggest bra made for horses... Is the Z-bra!

Word Play Jokes — Bra Joke Joke Meme

Mathematician Who Was Afraid Of Negatives Jokes

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negatives?

An Avocado In Church Joke

What do you call an avocado in church?

Dinosaurs Floors Joke

What do dinosaurs use on the floors of their kitchens?

Word Play Jokes — Dinosaurs floors joke Joke Meme

Flag And Flagpole Joke

What did the flag say to the flagpole?

Basketball Pig Joke

What do you call a pig that plays basketball?

Gas Station Air Joke

When I was young, air at gas stations was free. Now they charge $1.50... That's inflation for you!

Circus Fire Joke

Did you hear about the circus fire?

Sick Pig Joke

How do you take a sick pig to the hospital?

Easter Bunny Hair Joke

How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur looking so good?

Dogs Like Cell Phone Joke

Why are dogs like cell phones?

Chiropractor Joke

Does anyone remember the joke about a chiropractor I put on here about a week back?

Horse Named Mayo Joke

I have a horse named Mayo... Mayo neighs!

Twelve Inch King Joke

Once upon a time there was a king who was only twelve inches tall. He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler.

Two Brooms Getting Married Joke

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while, they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding giddier, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, "I think I am going to have a little broom." "Impossible!" said the groom broom. "We haven't even swept together yet!"

Ghost's Favorite Dessert Halloween Joke

What's a ghosts favorite dessert?

Ghost Wife Halloween Joke

What did the ghost say to his wife?

Mummy Halloween Joke

Why don't mummies take time off?

Monster School Menu Joke

What's on the lunch menu at Monster School?

Demon Breakfast Joke

What do demons eat for breakfast?

Zombies New House Joke

Why didn't the zombie like his new house?

Jack-o-lantern And A Pumpkin Joke

What did the Jack-O-Lantern say to the pumpkin?

Gang Of Ghosts Joke

What do you call a gang of ghosts?

Smal Valentine Joke

What do you call a small Valentine?

Gingerbread Man Bed Joke

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?

Mouse Shower Joke

How does a mouse feel after taking a shower?

Sheep Exercise Joke

What exercise do sheep do everyday to stay fit?

Why Couldn't The Pony Sing?

Why couldn't the pony sing?

Dalmatian Hide And Seek Joke

Why are dalmatians bad at hide and seek?

Crying Strawberry Joke

Why was the strawberry crying?

Pirates' Money

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

Bus Driver

A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted with Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and Elmo. Still, a job's a job, he thought. As he went about his route, he stopped and picked up twin girls. These girls were rather portly, and as they entered the bus the first one said, "My name's Patty." The man asked the second twin her name and she said, "My name's Patty also." Further along, there was a boy who was trying to put on a James Dean-esque cool image. As he got on the bus, he said, "Yo! I'm Leonard T." He sat in the seat right behind the driver, so the driver could see him in his mirror. They were almost back to the school, and made one last stop. The kid who got on announced, "I'm Ross... and I'm special." As they made their way back to the school, the driver noticed to his disgust that the kid sitting right behing him had removed one shoe to reveal a horrible case of bunions, which he was picking at. As soon as they got to school, the man went to the principal's office, threw down the bus keys on his desk, and announced he was quitting. "Is something wrong?" asked the principal? "I can't take this!" yelled the man. "I've got two all beef Pattys, special Ross, Leonard T. picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"

April Fools Joke

What movie is really the sequel to April Fools?

Dad Bod Joke

Hey, that's not a dad bod... It's a father figure!

Dwarf Prisoner Joke

I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall!

Thin Line Joke

There is a thin line between a numerator and a denominator... And only a fraction of people can understand that.

Caveman Valentine’s Day

What does a caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Scrabble Tiles Joke

Did you hear about the dog that ate the Scrabble tiles?

Pastry Chef Love Joke

Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?

Nice Lawn Joke

I have a chicken-proof lawn... It's impeckable!

Make A Pirate Mad Joke

How to you make a Pirate mad?

Trees Surfing The Internet

How do trees access the internet?

Pig Thief Joke

What do you call a pig thief?

Octopus Laugh Joke

How do you make an octopus laugh?

Alien In Garden Joke

What did the alien in the garden say?

Cookie Meat Joke

I tried Wookie meat... It was Chewy.

How Many Feet In A Yard

How many feet are in a yard?

Handy Man Joke

I hired a handy man and gave home a list of jobs to do. When I got home, only #1, #3 and #5 were done. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

Insurance Policy Joke

I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my duvet is stolen in the middle of the night, I’m not covered.

Hotel Restaurant Joke

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her. "This is so embarrassing." the woman says, and she popped her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods. The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming women I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

Halloween Skeleton Joke

How much does a skeleton weigh?

Rasin Date Joke

Why did the raisin go out with the prune?

Other Side Of The Lake Joke

Standing on the edge of the lake, someone shouted across "How do you get to the other side?"

What Did The Turkey Say To The Computer Joke

What did the turkey say to the computer?

Leather And Sounds Like A Sneeze Joke

What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

Beefstew Password

Apparently you can't use "Beefstew" as a password... It's not stroganoff.

Orchestra Joke

I told my son he couldn't watch the orchestra anymore and he asked why? Because there's too much sax and violins!

A Dinosaur And A Pig Joke

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?

Cook An Alligator Joke

What's the best way to cook an alligator?

4th Of July Duck Joke

What do you call a duck on the 4th of July?

Tiny Surfer Joke

What kind of wave do tiny surfers ride?

Highlighter Joke

I'm going to start collecting highlighters... mark my words!

Bubble-gum Train

What do you call a train with bubble-gum?

How To Get A Good Price On A Sled Joke

How do you get a good price on a sled?

Cookie Doctor Joke

When does a cookie go to see a doctor?

Skeleton Dance Joke

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Strip Down Joke

The cashier told me, "Strip down facing me". By the time I realized they meant the debit card, it was too late.

Exorcist Joke

If you don't pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?

Dracula Halloween Joke

Why is Dracula so easy to trick on Halloween?

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Why are ghosts bad liars?

Valentines Day Joke

What did one penny say to the other penny on Valentine's day?

Best Dancing Cow Joke

Which cow is the best dancer?

How Do You Get A Squirrel To Love You Joke

How do you get a squirrel to love you?

Why Was The Belt Arrested

Why was the belt arrested?

Grizzly

What do you call a Grizzly with no teeth?

Singing In The Shower

Singing in the shower is all fun and game until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Hawaiian Pizza

I just burnt this Hawaiian pizza. Guess I should have used aloha temperature.

Cell Phone Joke

I just removed all the German contacts from my cell phone. It's now Hans free!

Little Mermaid Joke

What did the Little Mermaid wear to math class?

Days Of The Weak Joke

Saturday and Sunday's are the strongest days... all the rest are weak days!

Cut Lightning Joke

How do you cut lightning?

Guy With No Arms And No Legs, In A Pot Of Boiling Water Joke

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in a pot of boiling water?

Worse Than Raining Cats And Dogs Joke

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Candy Under Pillow Joke

Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Frog Parking Only

What happens when a frog illegally parks?

Minneapolis Joke

We all know where the Big Apple is, but does anyone know where the Minneapolis?

Rabbit Joke

What do you call a rabbit that tells a good joke?

2000 Year Old Stain Joke

I saw a 2000 years old stain... It was from ancient greece.

David Hasselhoff Walked Into A Bar Joke

David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink. "It's a pleasure to serve you Mr. Hasselhoff," said the bartender. "Just call me Hoff," the actor replied. "Sure," the bartender said, "no hassle."

Shared Amazon Account Joke

What do you call a couple who share an Amazon account?

Dark Spelled With A K

Why is "dark" spelled with a "K" and not a "C"?

Elf Car Joke

What kind of cars do elves drive?

Chocolate Chewbacca

What do you call Chewbacca when he gets chocolate in his fur?

Pampered Cow Joke

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Tweety Bird Hospital Joke

Why did the Tweety bird go the hospital?

Astronauts Feet Joke

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

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