Misc Jokes Page 2 of 2 Fart.com

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Igloo Joke

I wish I still had that igloo. But when I moved into it, my friends threw me a housewarming party. And I no longer had an igloo.

Mafia Hit Men Joke

Two mafia hit-men are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night. One of them says, "I'm kind of scared out here." The other replies, "You're scared... I gotta walk back alone!"

Misc Jokes — Mafia Hit Men Joke Joke Meme.

Toilet Paper Crisis

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

Eight Hour Day

Sometimes it takes me eight hours to get nothing done.

Pick A Person To Blame.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems...

Misc Jokes — Pick a person to blame. Joke Meme

Falling Autumn Leaves

It's autumn. My wife asked me why I won't rake the leaves?. I said, "It's because they're called leaves. If they were called pick-me-ups I would pick them up, but they're called leaves so I leave them."

Brake Fluid Pun

I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

Mental Health Hotline

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press-no-one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Misc Jokes — Mental Health Hotline Joke Meme

My Neighbor Is Stalking Me.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Build A Pyramid

Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?" Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, yeah, up to a point."

New Deodorant

I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said, "Remove cap and push up bottom." Now I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely!

Skeleton

Why don't skeletons trust each other?

Mosquito Killer

Only when a mosquito lands on your testicles... do you learn to solve problems without violence.

Psychic Joke

The other day I went to see a psychic. When I knocked on the door she shouted, "Who's there?" So I left.

Russian Roulette Joke

Five out of six people say Russian Roulette is safe.

Make Yourself At Home

When I go to someone else's house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.

Addicted To Seaweed Joke

What do you do if you're addicted to seaweed?

Bathroom Nationalities

When you go into the bathroom you're Russian; when you are in the bathroom, European; when you come out of the bathroom, you're Finnish.

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