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The Loan Ranger And Tonto Go Into A Saloon

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do....Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the saloon to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" "Nothing, but you left your injun runnin!"

A Duck, Skunk And A Deer Go To Dinner

A duck a skunk and a deer when out to dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck, so they put the meal on the ducks bill.

Email Warning

If you ever receive an email titled "Ding Dong", do not open it. It's a Jehovahs Witness working from home.

Fresh Thanksgiving Turkey

Shot my first turkey today. Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!

Monkey And Bananas

A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Leftover Bacon?

Someone asked me what to do with leftover bacon. I've never heard of that kind of bacon.

Lazy Dog

Lazy is a very strong word. I like to call it "Selective Participation".

Laundry Joke

Laundry: Washing - 30 minutes, drying - 60 minutes, putting away - 7 to 10 business days.

Tequila Diet

I'm on the tequila diet. So far I've lost 2 days.

Chemist Pun

When chemists die, they barium.

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