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Run Fast In New Shoes Joke

Not a single person asked me if I could run fast in my new shoes today. Being an adult is stupid!

Kidnapped By Mimes Joke

I was kidnapped by mimes... They did unspeakable things to me.

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

Two prawns were swimming around in the ocean. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area: Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn... He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again," Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian."

You Will Walk Today Joke

I went to church today and the preacher came over to me and said, "You will walk today." I told him I wasn't paralyzed, but he said it again with more enthusiasm. After the service, I went outside and my car was gone!

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Pat is at the airport with a sack over each shoulder. When he is stopped at customs they fin that both sacks are full of mobile phones. When asked why Pat said, "Well, while I was on my travels in America, I got a phone call from my mate Mick and he told me he was starting a Jazz band and could I bring him two saxophones."

Quick Money For Dummies Joke

I'm reading a book called "Quick Money for Dummies", by Robin Banks.

The Chameleon That Couldn't Change Color Joke

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color?

Peloton Bike Joke

How can you tell when someone in the room owns a Peloton Bike?

2 Men Walked Into A Bar

Two men walked into a bar...

Don't Rob A Bank With A Pig

Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?

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