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Page 125 of 201
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A Blonde Goes To The Super Bowl
Joke:
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Superbowl game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game her asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I really like it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was... Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback! I'm like Helloooo? It's only 25 cents."
VOTE
Money Joke
Joke:
Money. May not make you happy. But will pay for vacation, lunches, dinners, cars, houses, flowers, children education, medical bills, and tacos!
VOTE
Talk In My Sleep Joke
Joke:
My wife says that I talk in my sleep but I don't believe her... nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
VOTE
Serving Size
Joke:
I was born a boy, but according to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, I am a family of four.
VOTE
Nose Picker Joke
Joke:
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like was just born with mine.
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Shrinking Clothes
Joke:
All this time I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. It turns out it was the refrigerator!
VOTE
Coffin Joke
Joke:
I saw an ad for a coffin and thought... "That's the last thing I need!"
VOTE
Must Give Up
Joke:
An Angel visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking, and unmarried sex if she wanted to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. The Angel visited the woman a month later to see how she was getting on. "Not bad," said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but when I bent over to look in the freezer, my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in high heels and he pulled up my skirt and made love to me right then and there." "They don't like that in heaven", said the Angel. The woman replied: "They're not crazy about it in Costco either."
VOTE
Moving Fast
Joke:
As you get older, you've gotta stay positive. For example, the other day I fell down the stairs. Instead of getting upset, I just thought, "Wow, that's the fastest I've moved in years."
VOTE
Grandpa's Pants
Joke:
Grandpa, what are you doing on the porch with no pants on? Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.
VOTE
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