JOKES INDEX

Joke: To me, essential oils are what drips out of a taco.

Joke: My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him next time not to leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.

Joke: Wife, "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Husband, "Excellent idea!" Wife, "Ok, you stand at the sink and wash the dishes and I'll be on the couch and watching tv."

Joke: I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said, "Remove cap and push up bottom." Now I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely!

Joke: The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.

Joke: Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Joke: Sometimes it takes me eight hours to get nothing done.

Joke: When one door closes, another one opens. This is the last time I'm buying a used car.

Joke: Will glass coffins become popular? Remains to be seen.

Joke: A man enters a pharmacy and quietly walks around for a minute or two, then finally approaches the lady behind the counter. "May I speak to the pharmacist, please?", he asks. The lady responds, "I am the pharmacist." The man asks if there is a male pharmacist, and the lady pharmacist responds, "No, but please don't be concerned, I have been a pharmacist, and my sister and I have owned this pharmacy, for many years, and there is nothing you could ask that would be embarrassing to us. "Well . . ", the man hesitantly says, "I have this problem . . . I have a perpetual erection, and I was wondering what you could give me for it." The pharmacist responds, "Let me discuss this with my sister, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." After a few minutes, the pharmacist returns and says, "My sister and I have given it much thought and have decided that the best we could do is $20,000 and half of the business."