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Joke: I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes, he's 95. We went to the food court to buy some lunch when we noticed a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look over and catch him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never did anything wild in your life?" Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food to prevent choking upon hearing his response. "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
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Joke: I don't know how to use TikTok, but I can write in cursive, do long division, and tell time on clocks with hands... so there's that.
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Dad Jokes
Joke: We're expecting such a cold winter, the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far, 3 of my relatives have disappeared.
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Joke: Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.
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Joke: To me, essential oils are what drips out of a taco.
Punch Line
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Dad Jokes
Joke: When one door closes, another one opens. This is the last time I'm buying a used car.
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Joke: As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
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Joke: What did Tennessee?
Punch Line
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Dad Jokes
Joke: It's autumn. My wife asked me why I won't rake the leaves?. I said, "It's because they're called leaves. If they were called pick-me-ups I would pick them up, but they're called leaves so I leave them."
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Joke: I hate when I'm singing along to a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong...
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