422 DAD JOKES

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Joke: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I should have never taken a couple days off.
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Joke: The police asked where I was between 5 and 6.. so I told them nursery school.
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Dad Jokes
Joke: A parachutist is falling towards earth and can't get his parachute to open. Surprisingly he sees a guy flying up from earth and yells over to him "hey do you know anything about parachutes?" the other guys respond "no, do you know anything about gas grills?!
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Joke: The reason you can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom is because the pee is silent.
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Joke: The local pet store is having a free giveaway on birds today...no perches necessary.
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Dad Jokes
Joke: What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Punch Line
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Joke: Why Iron-man and not Fe-male?
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Joke: Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. Paid my $2, then he says, "Once upon a time there was this lobster...".
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Dad Jokes
Joke: Your pants won't get to tight if you don't wear any.
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Joke: My wife yelled down from upstairs and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied, "No." She responded, "How about now?"
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