423 DAD JOKES

Joke: A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father replied, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies of their own, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said. "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Joke: Ate two cans of Alphabet Soup. Had a terrible vowel movement.

Joke: I can't believe it's that time of the year again when I have to rake the leaves into my neighbors yard.

Joke: Husband, "Honey I broke a glass in the kitchen." Wife, "I'm coming with the broom." Husband, "It isn't urgent, you can come on foot."

Joke: Men are like shoelaces, they go through many holes before they tie the knot.

Joke: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech tree says to the birch tree, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is Neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever had my pecker into!"

Joke: Oh no! Clocks go back on November 1st. and I can't remember where I bought mine from!

Joke: If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty. If you see me laughing, I've already done it.

Joke: Bought a can of fly spray. Sprayed it all over me. I still can't fly.

Joke: If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to the lock calmly. Because communication is key.