423 DAD JOKES

Page 13 of 42

Sort Rating
Joke: You only need two tools in life... WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40... If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.
VOTE
Joke: If you notice cows sleeping in a field, does that mean it's pasture bedtime?
VOTE
Dad Jokes
Joke: My wife says that I talk in my sleep but I don't believe her... nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
VOTE
Joke: You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like was just born with mine.
VOTE
Joke: All this time I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. It turns out it was the refrigerator!
VOTE
Dad Jokes
Joke: This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please just press one?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.
VOTE
Joke: Research has shown that when a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats faster, his throat gets dry, and he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally. Then it was discovered why... She smells like a new truck.
VOTE
Joke: I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.
VOTE
Dad Jokes
Joke: Poop jokes aren't my favorite kind of jokes, but they are a solid number two.
VOTE
Joke: I told my son he couldn't watch the orchestra anymore and he asked why? Because there's too much sax and violins!
VOTE