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Joke: A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don’t know, some dumb woman asking if the coast is clear."
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Joke: Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
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Word Play Jokes
Joke: I once met a Korean martial artist who was giving away free chocolate bars. I asked him if I could take two. He said “No! You can Taekwondo.”
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Joke: I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress "Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?" She kicked me out and said, "The men I please are none of your business!"
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Joke: Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?" The other one says, "Well, I'm a big metal fan."
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Word Play Jokes
Joke: How many feet in a yard?
Punch Line
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Joke: Once upon a time there was a king who was only twelve inches tall. He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler.
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Joke: Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot and killed by the woman’s husband.
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Word Play Jokes
Joke: At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her. "This is so embarrassing." the woman says, and she popped her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods. The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming women I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
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Joke: I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I grounded him. He's doing better currently. And conducting himself properly...
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