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Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #1

President Camacho: Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution. South Carolina Representative # 1: That's what you said last time, dipshit! South Carolina Representative # 2: Yeah, I got a solution, you're a dick! South Carolina, what's up!

Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #2

President Camacho: Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix everything. Congressman #1: Break it down, Camacho! President Camacho: Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than any man alive. and Number 3: He's going to fix everything.

Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #3

So you're smart, huh? I thought your head would be bigger. - President Camacho

Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #4

Shut up. Sit your monkey ass down. Chill out. - President Camacho

Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #5

Chill, Scro, you do a kick-ass job and you get a full pardon. - President Camacho

Idiocracy Frito Quote

For the smartest guy in the world, you're pretty dumb sometimes. - Frito

Don't Listen Joke

Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf. But, did he listen?

The Wife's Cat Joke

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

You Like My Smile

A man and a woman were traveling on a train. Woman, "Every time you smile I feel like inviting you over to my place." Man, "Aww are you single?" Woman, "No, I'm a dentist."

Happy Frogs Joke

Why are frogs so happy?

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