The Joker

Question 1

Banana Goes To The Doctor

Question 2

Tarzan's Beard Joke

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Question 3

Black Coffee

A new study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic behavior. And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to become their victims.

Question 4

Never Sing In The Shower

Singing leads to dancing, Dancing leads to slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember don't sing in the shower!

Question 5

What Was E.T. Short For Joke

What was E.T. short for?

Question 6

Autumn Leaves

I can't believe it's that time of the year again when I have to rake the leaves into my neighbors yard.

Question 7

Get Me A Beer Joke

I trained my dog to fetch me a beer. It may not sound impressive, but he gets it from the neighbors fridge!

Question 8

People Person Joke

I used to be a people person... but people ruined that for me!

Question 9

Blonde Raking Leaves Joke

How did the blonde break both legs while raking leaves?

Question 10

My Friend David

My friend David lost his id, we now call him Dav.

Question 11

A Wife Sends A Text To Her Husband

Wife, "Honey, don't forget to buy bread when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie greets you." Husband, "Who is Valerie?" Wife, "Nobody, I just wanted you to answer, to have confirmation that you saw buy text." Husband, "But I'm with Valerie right now, I thought you saw me?" Wife, "What?! Where are you?" Husband, "Near the bakery." Wife, "Wait, I'm coming right now!" After five minutes the wife sends a message: Wife, "I'm at the bakery, where are you?" Husband, "I'm at work. Now that you're at the bakery, you can buy the bread!"

Question 12

Men Never Listen Joke

In a hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. The next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button. "The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow." "MEN NEVER LISTEN"

Question 13

Never Done Anything Wild?

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes, he's 95. We went to the food court to buy some lunch when we noticed a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look over and catch him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never did anything wild in your life?" Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food to prevent choking upon hearing his response. "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Question 14

My Wife's Birthday

My Wife's birthday is coming up in a few months. She's leaving jewelry catalogs around the house. Think I'll buy her a magazine rack.

Question 15

Blondes And Cow Pies

What do blondes and cow pies have in common?

Question 16

Leading Cause Of Dry Skin Joke

What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Question 17

Jailed Picture Frame Joke

Why was the picture frame sent to jail?

Question 18

50 Cent Hungry Joke

What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry?

Question 19

Marriage Tip

When your wife is mowing the lawn, that's probably not the best time to ask when dinner will be ready.

Question 20

Strawberry Gets Run Over Joke

What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?

Question 21

Halloween Vampire And Snowman Joke

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Question 22

Which Floor

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please just press one?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.

Question 23

Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke

What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?

Question 24

Santa Pun

Santa got stuck in a chimney a few years back? Now he gets Claustrophobia.

Question 25

Thesaurus Breakfast Joke

What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?

Question 26

Chip Monkey Joke

What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips?

Question 27

Santa Sleigh

How much did Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Question 28

Cross Bambi And A Ghost Joke

What Do You Get If You Cross Bambi With A Ghost?

Question 29

Almond Diet

I thought about going on an all almond diet... But that's just nuts!

Question 30

Toilet Papered

Neighbors house got TP'ed last night... Now it's listed on Zillow for $12.5 million.

The Joker

Banana Goes To The Doctor

Tarzan's Beard Joke

Black Coffee

Never Sing In The Shower

What Was E.T. Short For Joke

Autumn Leaves

Get Me A Beer Joke

People Person Joke

Blonde Raking Leaves Joke

My Friend David

A Wife Sends A Text To Her Husband

Men Never Listen Joke

Never Done Anything Wild?

My Wife's Birthday

Blondes And Cow Pies

Leading Cause Of Dry Skin Joke

Jailed Picture Frame Joke

50 Cent Hungry Joke

Marriage Tip

Strawberry Gets Run Over Joke

Halloween Vampire And Snowman Joke

Which Floor

Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke

Santa Pun

Thesaurus Breakfast Joke

Chip Monkey Joke

Santa Sleigh

Cross Bambi And A Ghost Joke

Almond Diet

Toilet Papered

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