The Joker

Question 1

Just Pretend

I pretended to fall asleep and I fell asleep. Now, I'm going to pretend to be skinny.

Question 2

Baby Corn Joke

What did the Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?

Question 3

Boomerang Grenade Joke

Sad news today, the guy that invented the boomerang hand grenade died yesterday during product testing.

Question 4

Pilot Joke

Two, not very bright, pilots come in for a landing when the pilot has to slam on the brakes. Captain Bill looks over at Roger the co-pilot and says, "Damn that is the shortest runway we have ever landed on!" Roger takes a long look left, then a long look right and replies, "Yeah but look how wide it is!"

Question 5

Cheers To Bread

To the person who invented bread. I'd like to propose a toast.

Question 6

My Poem

I'd share my poem about the wind....but it's only a draft.

Question 7

Chocolate Advent Calendar Joke

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 3 days till Christmas

Question 8

Upset Toast Joke

What did the upset toast say about my compliments?

Question 9

Onions And Beans Joke

What do you get if you eat onions on your beans?

Question 10

Jelly Fish Joke

What's in the middle of a jellyfish?

Question 11

Funny Mountain Joke

What do you call a funny mountain?

Question 12

Snowmen Breakfast Joke

What do snowmen have for breakfast?

Question 13

Synonym Joke

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one.

Question 14

Talking Frog Joke

A 72-year-old man had one hobby - he loved to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, 'Are you talking to me?' The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!' The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his shirt pocket. The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?' I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.' He opened his pocket, looked at the frog, and said, 'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.' With age - comes wisdom!

Question 15

Losing Weight Joke

Loosing weight doesn't seem like it's working, so I'm going to concentrate on getting taller.

Question 16

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

Question 17

Gym Day

Did 3 laps around the gym today... Couldn't find a parking spot so I went home.

Question 18

Do The Crime Pay The Time

An 80-year-old lady was arrested for shoplifting. Judge: "What did you steal?" She replies, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her how many peaches were in a can? She replied, "Six." Judge: "Ok, I'll give you six days in jail." Before the judge could pronounce the punishment, the husband spoke up and said, "What about ht can of peas!"

Question 19

Cloud Clothes Joke

What do clouds wear?

Question 20

Taking A Pole Joke

I recently took a pole and found out that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

Question 21

Headless Horseman Halloween Joke

Why did the headless horseman start his own business?

Question 22

Opening Doors

When one door closes, another one opens. This is the last time I'm buying a used car.

Question 23

Christmas And Crabs Pun

What do Christmas and crabs have in common?

Question 24

Don't Eat A Dictionary

I swallowed a dictionary. It gave me the Thesaurus throat I've ever had.

Question 25

Just Mopped The Floor Joke

A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an interesting case here. An old lady just shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?" "Not yet. The floor is still wet."

Question 26

String To The Game Joke

Why did the football player bring string to the game?

Question 27

A Really Dumb Dad Joke

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff... Baa-dumm-tss.

Question 28

Afternoon Sex

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a popsicle and tell him to report on the neighborhood activities. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot." He Shouted. He began his commentary as his parent put their a plan into operation: "An ambulance just drove by!" "Looks like the Smiths have company." He called out. "Noah's riding his new bike!" "Looks like the Stewarts are moving!" After a few moments... "Looks like the Robinson's are having sex!" Startled, his mom and dad sat up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they're having sex?" "Jimmy Robinson is on his balcony with a popsicle."

Question 29

Good Years

I had a happy childhood; Dad would roll me down the hill in a tire. Those were Goodyears.

Question 30

Chicken Sandwiches Joke

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn't! It just craps on the floor.

The Joker

Just Pretend

Baby Corn Joke

Boomerang Grenade Joke

Pilot Joke

Cheers To Bread

My Poem

Chocolate Advent Calendar Joke

Upset Toast Joke

Onions And Beans Joke

Jelly Fish Joke

Funny Mountain Joke

Snowmen Breakfast Joke

Synonym Joke

Talking Frog Joke

Losing Weight Joke

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

Gym Day

Do The Crime Pay The Time

Cloud Clothes Joke

Taking A Pole Joke

Headless Horseman Halloween Joke

Opening Doors

Christmas And Crabs Pun

Don't Eat A Dictionary

Just Mopped The Floor Joke

String To The Game Joke

A Really Dumb Dad Joke

Afternoon Sex

Good Years

Chicken Sandwiches Joke

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