The Joker

Question 1

Food That Causes Grief & Suffering

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake!

Question 2

Coffee Can Make You Aggressive

Warning! Coffee can make you aggressive. Yesterday I had 15 beers at the bar, and my wife had 3 cups of coffee at home. When I got home she was extremely pissed off.

Question 3

Eleven Inch Pianist Joke

A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall, and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink. The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?" The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry." The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." The guy says, "Do you really think I asked for an eleven-inch pianist?"

Question 4

Penguin House

How does a penguin build its house?

Question 5

Old Apple Joke

What do you call an old apple?

Question 6

No Chocolate Ice Cream Joke

An old lady walks up to an ice cream truck and asks the guy for some chocolate ice cream. He tells her that they just sold out. She comes back a few minutes later and once again asks for chocolate ice cream. The guy in the truck told her sorry but we are all out of chocolate ice cream for the rest of the day. She comes back a few minutes later asking for some chocolate ice cream. So the guy in the truck asks her to spell the van in vanilla. "Van" she spells out. Great now spell the straw in strawberry, so she replies "straw". Very good, now do me a favor and spell the fuck in chocolate. She tells him "there is no fuck in chocolate". He replies "that's what I've been trying to tell you, lady, there is no fuckin chocolate".

Question 7

Army Bush Pun

If you don't know what this is don't ever join the Army. You don't even know an ambush when you see one.

Question 8

New Diet Joke

Today I bought a donut without sprinkles... Diets are hard!

Question 9

Hot Flight Attendant

A businessman in the first-class cabin decided to chat up the drop-dead, gorgeous flight attendant: "What is your name?" Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, sir" Businessman: "Lovely name ... Any relation to Mercedes Benz?" Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close" Businessman: "How close?" Flight Attendant: "Same price."

Question 10

Tampon Joke

What did one tampon say the the other?

Question 11

A Girls Sexual Experiance.

What are the similarities between my first sexual experience and my first bike ride?

Question 12

Wife And Kids Joke

I keep a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet... It reminds me of why there is no money there!

Question 13

Energizer Bunny Pun

Energizer bunny arrested: Charged with battery.

Question 14

Holy Water Pun

How do you make holy water?

Question 15

The Wife's Cat Joke

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

Question 16

Brunette Joke #3

What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde?

Question 17

Self Testing For COVID-19

Pour a measure of whiskey, gin, or rum in a glass, then see if you can smell it. If you can, then drink it and if you can taste it it's reasonable to assume you're currently free from the virus. I tested myself nine times last night and was virus-free each time, thank goodness. I will test myself again today because I've developed a headache which can also be a symptom.

Question 18

Pie Rate Joke.

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $2.40. A chicken pie in St. Kitts cost $2.25... These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

Question 19

Tickle Me Elmo

What did they give Tickle-Me-Elmo before he left the factory?

Question 20

Trumpkin

Orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should be thrown out in November.

Question 21

Glasses And Mask Joke

If you have to wear both mask and glasses, you may be entitled to condensation.

Question 22

Smiling Or Laughing

If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty. If you see me laughing, I've already done it.

Question 23

Salad For Dinner

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. Fine, it was pizza, I ate pizza.

Question 24

Blonde Sitting At A Bar Joke

Blonde sitting in a bar wondering why she only has 3 sisters, when her brother has 4.

Question 25

Police Questioning Joke

I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Funny, I don't remember applying for a job there.

Question 26

Crowbar Joke

A little know fact... Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

Question 27

My Wife Made It Joke.

The graveyard service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

Question 28

Vegetable Call A Plumber Joke

Why did the vegetable call a plumber?

Question 29

Vegan Pun

This girl said she recognized me from some vegan restaurant but I knew I'd never met herbivore.

Question 30

Do You Still Love Me?

My wife asked me, "Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?" So I took her to dinner and a movie and then dropped her off at her parents' house.

The Joker

Food That Causes Grief & Suffering

Coffee Can Make You Aggressive

Eleven Inch Pianist Joke

Penguin House

Old Apple Joke

No Chocolate Ice Cream Joke

Army Bush Pun

New Diet Joke

Hot Flight Attendant

Tampon Joke

A Girls Sexual Experiance.

Wife And Kids Joke

Energizer Bunny Pun

Holy Water Pun

The Wife's Cat Joke

Brunette Joke #3

Self Testing For COVID-19

Pie Rate Joke.

Tickle Me Elmo

Trumpkin

Glasses And Mask Joke

Smiling Or Laughing

Salad For Dinner

Blonde Sitting At A Bar Joke

Police Questioning Joke

Crowbar Joke

My Wife Made It Joke.

Vegetable Call A Plumber Joke

Vegan Pun

Do You Still Love Me?

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