The Joker

Question 1

Dad Stealing From His Job Joke

I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker... But when I got home all the signs were there!

Question 2

Moving Fast

As you get older, you've gotta stay positive. For example, the other day I fell down the stairs. Instead of getting upset, I just thought, "Wow, that's the fastest I've moved in years."

Question 3

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Question 4

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

I was accused of stealing a thesaurus. I was not only shocked but appalled, aghast, and dismayed.

Question 5

Grandpa's Pants

Grandpa, what are you doing on the porch with no pants on? Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.

Question 6

Hokey Pokey

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

Question 7

1080p Pun

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!

Question 8

Farmer Bury Money Joke

Why did the farmer bury his money?

Question 9

I Got Hit By A Car.

A man call his wife, "I got hit by a car outside the office. Tina brought me to the Hospital. They have been doing tests and taking x-rays. The blow to my head, though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, compound fracture in my left leg and, they may have to amputate my right leg." Wife's response, "Who's Tina?!?!"

Question 10

Pizza Button On The Microwave.

I put a potato in the microwave and pushed the pizza button. The little bell rang but it was still a potato.

Question 11

Sick Lemon Joke

What do you give a sick lemon?

Question 12

Wife Bra

I almost tripped over my wife’s bra the other day... I'm sure it was a booby trap.

Question 13

A Women Pleasure

Husband asked his wife, "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?" Wife, "Because I don't like calling you when you're at work."

Question 14

Cold Painter Joke

What does the painter do when he gets cold?

Question 15

Asphalt Pun

A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says "I'll take a beer ...and one for the road"

Question 16

Nudist Camp Joke

So a hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it now.

Question 17

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

Question 18

Hospital Joke

What part of the hospital has the least privacy?

Question 19

Canned Meat Joke

If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don’t open it... It's Spam!

Question 20

Quarantine Joke

I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, "Must be nice".

Question 21

Going Deaf Joke

The Doc told me I was going deaf... It was hard to hear.

Question 22

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

My friend quit his job as manager of a muffler shop. Said he was tired of coming home every night exhausted.

Question 23

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Pat is at the airport with a sack over each shoulder. When he is stopped at customs they fin that both sacks are full of mobile phones. When asked why Pat said, "Well, while I was on my travels in America, I got a phone call from my mate Mick and he told me he was starting a Jazz band and could I bring him two saxophones."

Question 24

Girlfriends Eyebrows Joke

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!

Question 25

Never Tell A Lie Joke

A kid keeps lying to his father so the dad buys a lie detector robot who will slap him if he tells a lie. The next morning the father asks his son where he was the night before. "I was at Joeys house doing my homework" The robot slaps him. His dad says that was a lie and asks what was he really doing. The kid says "we were watching Toy Story" and he gets slapped again. When he asks again what were you really doing, the kid admits they were watching porn. "See when you tell the truth you won't get slapped". The dad then says "when we were kids we didn't even have porn" The robot then slaps the father. The mom laughs and says" well he is you kid after all". So the robot slaps the mom.

Question 26

Communism Pun

I never really thought communism would work. Way to many red flags.

Question 27

Clock Pun

6:30 is hands down the best time on any clock.

Question 28

Use You Big Boy Words Joke

A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SHIT."

Question 29

Cheap Circumcision

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

Question 30

Teddy Bear Dessert

Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert?

The Joker

Dad Stealing From His Job Joke

Moving Fast

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

Grandpa's Pants

Hokey Pokey

1080p Pun

Farmer Bury Money Joke

I Got Hit By A Car.

Pizza Button On The Microwave.

Sick Lemon Joke

Wife Bra

A Women Pleasure

Cold Painter Joke

Asphalt Pun

Nudist Camp Joke

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Hospital Joke

Canned Meat Joke

Quarantine Joke

Going Deaf Joke

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Girlfriends Eyebrows Joke

Never Tell A Lie Joke

Communism Pun

Clock Pun

Use You Big Boy Words Joke

Cheap Circumcision

Teddy Bear Dessert

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