The Joker

Question 1

Don't Trust Stairs Joke

I don't trust stairs... They're always up to something.

Question 2

Lose Weight Joke

I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep.

Question 3

Money Joke

Money. May not make you happy. But will pay for vacation, lunches, dinners, cars, houses, flowers, children education, medical bills, and tacos!

Question 4

Halloween Vampire And Snowman Joke

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Question 5

Dad Stealing From His Job Joke

I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker... But when I got home all the signs were there!

Question 6

Moving Fast

As you get older, you've gotta stay positive. For example, the other day I fell down the stairs. Instead of getting upset, I just thought, "Wow, that's the fastest I've moved in years."

Question 7

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

I was accused of stealing a thesaurus. I was not only shocked but appalled, aghast, and dismayed.

Question 8

Grandpa's Pants

Grandpa, what are you doing on the porch with no pants on? Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.

Question 9

Which Floor

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please just press one?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.

Question 10

Hokey Pokey

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

Question 11

1080p Pun

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!

Question 12

Farmer Bury Money Joke

Why did the farmer bury his money?

Question 13

Santa Pun

Santa got stuck in a chimney a few years back? Now he gets Claustrophobia.

Question 14

Bear Warning Joke

WARNING! When hiking, please take precaution and affix little bells to clothing to avoid surprising a bear. You are further advised to carry pepper spray in case of a bear encounter. Be vigilant and know the difference between bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear feces has bells in it and smells like pepper.

Question 15

Sick Lemon Joke

What do you give a sick lemon?

Question 16

Wife Bra

I almost tripped over my wife’s bra the other day... I'm sure it was a booby trap.

Question 17

A Women Pleasure

Husband asked his wife, "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?" Wife, "Because I don't like calling you when you're at work."

Question 18

Cold Painter Joke

What does the painter do when he gets cold?

Question 19

Asphalt Pun

A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says "I'll take a beer ...and one for the road"

Question 20

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

Question 21

Hospital Joke

What part of the hospital has the least privacy?

Question 22

Going Deaf Joke

The Doc told me I was going deaf... It was hard to hear.

Question 23

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

My friend quit his job as manager of a muffler shop. Said he was tired of coming home every night exhausted.

Question 24

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Pat is at the airport with a sack over each shoulder. When he is stopped at customs they fin that both sacks are full of mobile phones. When asked why Pat said, "Well, while I was on my travels in America, I got a phone call from my mate Mick and he told me he was starting a Jazz band and could I bring him two saxophones."

Question 25

Girlfriends Eyebrows Joke

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!

Question 26

Never Tell A Lie Joke

A kid keeps lying to his father so the dad buys a lie detector robot who will slap him if he tells a lie. The next morning the father asks his son where he was the night before. "I was at Joeys house doing my homework" The robot slaps him. His dad says that was a lie and asks what was he really doing. The kid says "we were watching Toy Story" and he gets slapped again. When he asks again what were you really doing, the kid admits they were watching porn. "See when you tell the truth you won't get slapped". The dad then says "when we were kids we didn't even have porn" The robot then slaps the father. The mom laughs and says" well he is you kid after all". So the robot slaps the mom.

Question 27

Clock Pun

6:30 is hands down the best time on any clock.

Question 28

Cheap Circumcision

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

Question 29

Teddy Bear Dessert

Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert?

Question 30

Wise Man Joke

A wise man once told his wife nothing, because he was a wise man.

The Joker

Don't Trust Stairs Joke

Lose Weight Joke

Money Joke

Halloween Vampire And Snowman Joke

Dad Stealing From His Job Joke

Moving Fast

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

Grandpa's Pants

Which Floor

Hokey Pokey

1080p Pun

Farmer Bury Money Joke

Santa Pun

Bear Warning Joke

Sick Lemon Joke

Wife Bra

A Women Pleasure

Cold Painter Joke

Asphalt Pun

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Hospital Joke

Going Deaf Joke

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Girlfriends Eyebrows Joke

Never Tell A Lie Joke

Clock Pun

Cheap Circumcision

Teddy Bear Dessert

Wise Man Joke

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