The Joker

Question 1

Rut Vs Grave

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Question 2

Cremation

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

Question 3

Boxed Wine

I'm thinking about taking the wine box back to complain. It said once opened it would last 6 weeks, it only lasted me 3 hours!

Question 4

Pizza Joke

I have a joke about pizza... It's a little cheesy!

Question 5

PMS Pun

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period!

Question 6

Dinosaur Pun

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

Question 7

Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe Joke

Why was the old woman forced to live in a shoe?

Question 8

Ex Wife Dress Joke

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ”Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ”Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.” A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.” Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear……I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.”

Question 9

Idiocracy Frito Quote

For the smartest guy in the world, you're pretty dumb sometimes. - Frito

Question 10

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don’t know, some dumb woman asking if the coast is clear."

Question 11

Fireman Joke

Little old lady calls the fire department, screams, come quick, my house is on fire! Man says, how do we get there? She says, don't y'all still have those big red trucks?

Question 12

Another COVID Joke

I went outside to check on my plants. I felt something cold and wet on my arm. I looked down and say a mosquito using a wet wipe before it bit me!

Question 13

Why Do You Still Carry A Comb?

I shaved my head when I started going bald years ago, but I still carry a comb... I just can’t part with it.

Question 14

An Irish Prayer Joke

An Irishman was flustered about not being able to find a parking space. "Lord," he prayed, "I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up drinking me whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday." Suddenly, the clouds parted and the sun shone on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man said, "Never mind, I found one."

Question 15

Wine Workout

Did you know that fourteen muscles are activated when you open a bottle of wine? Fitness is my passion.

Question 16

How To Win Powerball

After losing in last night's Powerball, I've decided to declare myselft the winner and to file lawsuits until I win!

Question 17

Santa Claus Pun

I never really believed in Santa, always was a rebel without a claus.

Question 18

Alexa Knows

"Alexa, where's my dad?" Alexa, "Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas." "Ha! Gotcha, my dad is sitting right next to me." Alexa, "Your mom's husband is sitting right next to you. Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas."

Question 19

Can You Read This?

If you can't read it then pull the side of your eyes while reading it, like you are Japanese, it will come to you.

Question 20

Mindreaders

Here's a question for all you mindreader's out there.

Question 21

COVID-19

Cornona Virus, it's an inside joke.

Question 22

Ohno Bird Joke

Did you ever hear about the Ohno bird? It has two-inch long legs and a four-inch cock. Every time he lands you can hear him say "ohno ohno"

Question 23

Every Day Is A Gift Joke

If each day is a gift, can we get a refund on the shitty ones?

Question 24

Paleontologists Joke

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.

Question 25

Science Book Joke

Why were the two science books holding hands?

Question 26

Tweety Bird Knock Knock Joke

Tweety: knock knock. Sylvester: Who's there? Tweety: Gladys. Sylvester: Gladys who? Tweety: Gladys you and not that awful puddy tat!

Question 27

Marketing Joke

Why don't marketers like trampolines?

Question 28

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

What do you call a group of lions marching in the savannah?

Question 29

Happy Dwarf Joke

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Question 30

Taco Tuesday Joke

Seven days without a taco makes Juan weak!

The Joker

Rut Vs Grave

Cremation

Boxed Wine

Pizza Joke

PMS Pun

Dinosaur Pun

Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe Joke

Ex Wife Dress Joke

Idiocracy Frito Quote

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

Fireman Joke

Another COVID Joke

Why Do You Still Carry A Comb?

An Irish Prayer Joke

Wine Workout

How To Win Powerball

Santa Claus Pun

Alexa Knows

Can You Read This?

Mindreaders

COVID-19

Ohno Bird Joke

Every Day Is A Gift Joke

Paleontologists Joke

Science Book Joke

Tweety Bird Knock Knock Joke

Marketing Joke

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

Happy Dwarf Joke

Taco Tuesday Joke

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