The Joker

Question 1

Voltaire Quote

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.

Question 2

Demons And Ghouls Joke

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Question 3

Dracula's Favorite Breed Of Dog Joke

What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?

Question 4

Upolsterer

Great news everyone. Apparently that man who was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun... is now fully "recovered".

Question 5

Worm In An Apple Joke

What's worse than a worm in an apple?

Question 6

Witches Favorite School Subject Joke

What's a witch's favorite subject in school?

Question 7

Here's Your Sign

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied... "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident".. ..I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"

Question 8

Cow Bells

Why do cows wear bells?

Question 9

Middle Age Joke

How can you tell when you've reached middles age?

Question 10

Banana Sunscreen Joke

Why do bananas wear sunscreen?

Question 11

Midwife Joke

Midwives deserve a lot of respect... They really help people out!

Question 12

Cannabis Farmers

Do cannabis farmers use weed killer?

Question 13

It's Illegal To Laugh Loudly In Hawaii Joke

Did you know that in Hawaii, it’s actually illegal to laugh loudly?

Question 14

No Eye Dear Joke

What do you call a deer with no eyes? ...no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? ....still no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs having sex? ...still fucking no eye deer.

Question 15

Geico Pun

if Geico ever fired the gecko that would be a reptile disfunction.

Question 16

Thinks He's A Chicken Joke

I have a friend that's a little nuts. He thinks he is a chicken sometimes. I probably wouldn't hang around with him much but I can use the eggs.

Question 17

Quiet Dog Joke

What do you give your dog when you want it to be quiet?

Question 18

My Best Friend And My Wife Joke

"Yesterday, my wife ran away with my best friend Steve." Said, Roger. Brian replied, "Since when is Steve your best friend?" Roger replied, "Since yesterday."

Question 19

SERENITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied... "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

Question 20

Mother Of Jesus Joke

Since Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God... Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

Question 21

Clear The Table Joke

My wife asked me to clear the dining table...I had to get a running start but I made it!

Question 22

Terrible Things You Do For Money

I've done some terrible things for money... Like getting up early to go to work.

Question 23

The Long Drive

It was a sunny Saturday morning and Brian was beginning his pre-shot routine -- visualizing his upcoming shot -- when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: "Would the gentleman on the ladies tee back up to the men's tee, please!" Brian was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement: "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up the men's tee!" Brian had had enough. He shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!"

Question 24

Keep A Bottle Of Wine In The Fridge Joke

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions... Sometimes the special occasion is that you have a bottle of wine in the fridge!

Question 25

Picking Berries

When Gathering Berries... You have to be picky!

Question 26

Santa’s Favorite Singer Joke

Who is Santa's favorite singer?

Question 27

Do It Right The First Time

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.

Question 28

Chemist Joke

I don't want to get to technical but... Chemists think alcohol is a solution!

Question 29

Class Trip Pun

Class trip to Coca-Cola. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Question 30

Most Famous Married Women In America

Who is the most famous married woman in The United States?

The Joker

Voltaire Quote

Demons And Ghouls Joke

Dracula's Favorite Breed Of Dog Joke

Upolsterer

Worm In An Apple Joke

Witches Favorite School Subject Joke

Here's Your Sign

Cow Bells

Middle Age Joke

Banana Sunscreen Joke

Midwife Joke

Cannabis Farmers

It's Illegal To Laugh Loudly In Hawaii Joke

No Eye Dear Joke

Geico Pun

Thinks He's A Chicken Joke

Quiet Dog Joke

My Best Friend And My Wife Joke

SERENITY

Mother Of Jesus Joke

Clear The Table Joke

Terrible Things You Do For Money

The Long Drive

Keep A Bottle Of Wine In The Fridge Joke

Picking Berries

Santa’s Favorite Singer Joke

Do It Right The First Time

Chemist Joke

Class Trip Pun

Most Famous Married Women In America

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