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Jokers
The Joker
Joke Count: 1231
Caught Sleeping On The Job
Joke:
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "In Jesus Name, Amen"
VOTE
Two Blonds Unlocking The Car
Joke:
Two blonds are trying to unlock their car. The first blond tries to unlock it with a coat hanger. The second blond says, "Hurry up it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
VOTE
Conspiracy Theorist Bar Joke
Joke:
Two conspiracy theorist walk into a bar... Or do they.
VOTE
Why Is Z The Best Letter In The Alphabet Joke
Joke:
Why is Z the best letter in the alphabet?
Punch Line
VOTE
She's A Keeper!
Joke:
A note from my wife. "Hey Sweetie, I'm at work. Dinner is on the stove, you only have to light it, the gas is already turned on. Love you XOXO!
VOTE
Time To Stop Drinking Wine Joke
Joke:
You know when it's time to cut back on you're wine intake when your doctor tells you, "Your blood type is Chardonn-A positive."
VOTE
How To Make A Blonde Laugh
Joke:
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Punch Line
VOTE
Good Signs
Joke:
A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness, and a friend like me, well, that's a sign of good taste.
VOTE
Female Pharmacist
Joke:
A man enters a pharmacy and quietly walks around for a minute or two, then finally approaches the lady behind the counter. "May I speak to the pharmacist, please?", he asks. The lady responds, "I am the pharmacist." The man asks if there is a male pharmacist, and the lady pharmacist responds, "No, but please don't be concerned, I have been a pharmacist, and my sister and I have owned this pharmacy, for many years, and there is nothing you could ask that would be embarrassing to us. "Well . . ", the man hesitantly says, "I have this problem . . . I have a perpetual erection, and I was wondering what you could give me for it." The pharmacist responds, "Let me discuss this with my sister, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." After a few minutes, the pharmacist returns and says, "My sister and I have given it much thought and have decided that the best we could do is $20,000 and half of the business."
VOTE
Cold Book Joke
Joke:
What did the cold book do?
Punch Line
VOTE
What Would Jesus Do?
Joke:
I found $20 in a parking lot and thought to myself, What would Jesus do?
Punch Line
VOTE
Quarantine
Joke:
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
VOTE
So Many Stupid People
Joke:
Seriously, I don't know when exactly that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people, but they apparently aren't coming back for them!
VOTE
Ipad Thief Joke
Joke:
The guy who stole my iPad... He should FaceTime!
VOTE
Run Fast In New Shoes Joke
Joke:
Not a single person asked me if I could run fast in my new shoes today. Being an adult is stupid!
VOTE
Stuck In A Corner
Joke:
What stays in one corner but goes all over the US?
Punch Line
VOTE
Indian Pun
Joke:
Why were the Indians here first?
Punch Line
VOTE
One More Bad Decision
Joke:
I'm pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I'll have the whole set.
VOTE
Organized Crime Joke
Joke:
Son, "Dad, I'm considering a career in organized crime." Dad, "Government or private sector?"
VOTE
Idiocracy President Camacho Quote #3
Joke:
So you're smart, huh? I thought your head would be bigger. - President Camacho
VOTE
Husband's Birthday
Joke:
A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday... At the club, the doorman says, "Hi Jim, how are you?" The wife asks, "How does he know you?" Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside the bartender says, "The usual, Jim?" Jim says to his wife, "Before you say anything, he's on the darts team." Next, a stripper says, "Hi Jim! Do you crave the special again?" The wife storms out dragon Jim with her and jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver says, "Hey Jimmy Boy, you picked up an ugly one this time!..." Jim's funeral is Sunday!
VOTE
A Blonde Covering Her Ears
Joke:
What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Punch Line
VOTE
Where Does Dracula Get His Hair Cut Joke
Joke:
Where does Dracula get his hair cut?
Punch Line
VOTE
Monsters Favorite Play Joke
Joke:
What's a monster's favorite play?
Punch Line
VOTE
Drink Whiskey
Joke:
Some very sad news. My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks.
VOTE
Midnight Snack
Joke:
I woke up to drink some water in the middle of the night and I accidentally ate a whole pizza and cheesecake.
VOTE
Kidnapped By Mimes Joke
Joke:
I was kidnapped by mimes... They did unspeakable things to me.
VOTE
Right Or Wrong
Joke:
I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong!
VOTE
Best Selling Book
Joke:
In the US, a book titled: "How to change your wife in 30 days", sold 50 million copies in one week, before the author discovered that the title had a spelling error! The correct title was: "How to change your life in 30 days". After the correction, for a whole month, one 2 copies were sold.
VOTE
Chimney Sweeps Joke
Joke:
When chimney sweeps dress in the morning, are they "Sooting up?"
VOTE
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116
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9
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302
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15
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100
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9
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7
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13
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5
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402
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6
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56
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8
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13
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23
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43
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5
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