The Joker

Joke Count: 1231

Milkless Cow

If a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an utter failure?

Cross-Eyed Girl Joke

I dated a crosseyed girl but I just knew she was seeing someone on the side.

Cow Toe Joke

Why do cows have hooves?

Someone Called My Phone Today, Sneezed, And Then Hung Up Joke

Someone called my phone today, sneezed, and then hung up.

Take Your Kid To Work Day Joke

An eight-year-old girl went to the office with her dad on "Take your kid to work day." As they were walking around the office, the young girl started crying and getting very cranky. He father asked what was wrong with her. As the staff gathered around, she sobbed loudly; "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?"

I Was A Kamikaze Pilot

I went out for Chinese food last night and got chatting with the waiter. He told me he lived in Japan during the war and was a kamikaze pilot and his code name was "Chow Mein". I said, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't kamikaze pilots sacrifice their own lives?" To which he replied, "Yes, but I was Chicken Chow Mein"

Leather Pants

Research has shown that when a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats faster, his throat gets dry, and he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally. Then it was discovered why... She smells like a new truck.

Congress Or Baboon's Joke

A group of baboons is called a congress. (that is the joke)

The Good And Bad News

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.

Cell Phone Joke

I just removed all the German contacts from my cell phone. It's now Hans free!

Bear Paw Pun

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The bear says "I'll have a rum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and coke." The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, " What can I say, I was born with 'em."

Hollywood Movie Joke

Hollywood has been making a movie about constipation for years but they aren't sure if it will ever come out.

Guitar Pun

A woman is on trial for beating her husband with his guitars. The judge asks her, "first offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender."

Only One

Since there is only one of me, does that make me endangered or a limited edition?

Little Mermaid Joke

What did the Little Mermaid wear to math class?

Flamingo Pun

My friend keeps telling me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I guess I'm just going to have to put my foot down.

Elf Car Joke

What kind of cars do elves drive?

Police Interview Joke

The police asked where I was between 5 and 6.. so I told them nursery school.

Get A Mouse To Smile Joke

How do you get a mouse to smile?

A Duck Chap Stick Pun

A duck goes into a store and asks if they have any ChapStick. They told him they had plenty for sale so he replied "great can you put it on my bill for me"

Horse Injury Pun

A horse got hurt but he is doing fine and in fact, he is back in stable condition.

Days Of The Weak Joke

Saturday and Sunday's are the strongest days... all the rest are weak days!

Chocolate Chewbacca

What do you call Chewbacca when he gets chocolate in his fur?

Best Invention Joke

Out of all the inventions over the last 100 years, the dry erase board is the most remarkable.

Pampered Cow Joke

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Cut Lightning Joke

How do you cut lightning?

Three Moles Pun

Three moles had been burrowing underground when the first one says "did you smell something sweet, it smelled like candy?' The second one said he smelled something sweet but it was more like honey. The one at the back of the line told them "I smelled something but it didn't smell sweet, it smelled like mole asses!"

Closed Brothel

What does the sign on a closed brothel say?

Family Tree Joke

If I shook your family tree, how many nuts would fall out?

Crocodile With GPS Joke

What do you call a crocodile with GPS?

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