Fart Jokes Page 1 of 2 Fart.com

«
1
2
»

Sort Rating

Bass Fart

Why does the bass fart a half-tone flatter than every other fish? He's got a **b** in front of his ass

Little Girls Farts

Why don't little girls fart?

Fart Jokes — Little Girls Farts Joke Meme.

Single Women Fart

Do you know why single women can't fart?

Prairie Dog Shadow

What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow?

EU Fart

The EU is much like a bad fart. Better out than in.

Fart Jokes — EU Fart Joke Meme

Startled By A Loud Fart

I was startled by a loud fart. I was fartled.

Don't Force A Fart

Thought I could safely force a fart, but it backfired.

National Fart Day.

Why should February 10th be National Fart Day?

Fart Jokes — National Fart Day. Joke Meme

George Thorogood Fart

What do you call it when George Thorogood farts on a throne?

Fart Scented Candles

What do you call a man who makes fart scented candles?

Why Does A Fart Smell?..

Why does a fart smell?

Weight Of A Fart

-Dad, do farts have a weight? -I don't think so -So....well, I guess I pooped myself.

Women Fart

Why don't women fart?.

Man In An Elevator Fart

What did the man quietly say to himself after farting in a crowded elevator?

Yoga Fart

"Yoga", a Hindi word meaning I hope I don't fart.

Women Don't Fart

Why don't women fart?

Two Airplane Mechanics Joke

Bob and Tim work at Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Bob and Tim have nothing to do. After work Bob and Tim usually have a drink on their way home, so Bob says to Tim, “I heard that you can get a buzz off drinking jet fuel.” Since they have nothing better to do, they try it. Finally, their shift is over and they get to go home. Next morning Bob calls Tim and says, “How are you feeling?” Tim says he's fine, never felt better. Bob asks, “Do you have a hangover?” Tim says no. Then Tim says, “Wow this is great! We can drink all we want and not get a hangover.” Then Bob says, “Well, there is one side effect, Tim. Have you farted yet?” Tim says, “No, why?” Bob says, “I'm calling you from Detroit!”

Pegasus Farts

What do you call Pegasus farts?

Paraplegic Fart

What do you call a fart from a paraplegic?

The Maxi Pad And The Fart

What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?

Farted On During A Fight

If you get farted on during a fight... Guess what?

Fart Cutter

What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

Pharaohs Farts

If two pharaohs farted at the same time, they would have a toot in common.

Quiet Dog Joke

What do you give your dog when you want it to be quiet?

Don't Waste A Fart

Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it?

Vegetarian Fart

What do you call a vegetarian fart?

Hydrocarbon Fart Jokes

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Fart Trust Issues

Why should you never trust a fart?

Group Of Armpit Farters

What do you call a group of armpit farters?

Girlfriend Fart

My girlfriend said she didn't fart, but she's talking out her ass.

Brief Fart

New Mexican word for today: Brief.

Buddy Farts

So my buddy always looks at me when he farts. I think it's just inflatuation.

Bodily Function Punctuation

A fart is the only bodily function which has its own punctuation. What is it?

Jelly Bean Farts

Man who eat jelly beans, farts in technicolor.

Senators Are Like Farts...

How are US Senators like farts?

Writing On The Wall

When you're sitting on the toilet... The note scribbled on the wall reads: "I sit here broken hearted... I came here to shit, but only farted."

Gassy Scotsman

what do you call a gassy Scotsman?

Ice Fart

What did water say when ice farted?

Astronomy Fart

The number of my farts is gastronomical.

Swallowing Ammunition Joke

I keep swallowing live ammunition. I thought, this time I'm going to go to the hospital, but as usual, I just farted a round at home.

Fart Sword Joke

I asked my wife if she was going to make a sword out of my fart in bed last night. Cuz she schmelt it!

Babies Are Like Farts.

Why are babies like farts?

The Art Of A Fart

Art is when u fart without F.

Valentine's Day Poem

Love is the fart of every heart, for when held in it pains the host, but when released pains others most.

Giraffe Fart Joke

I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like.

Unconstitutional Farts

Did you hear about the unconstitutional ban on farts?

Chuck Norris Fart Joke

Chuck Norris farted once. He did it in the Sahara forest.

Gassy Greek

What do you call a gassy greek?

Another Difference Between Men And Women

The difference between men and women is that after being in a relationship for six months a woman wonders if it's time to say 'I love you' and a man wonders if it time to fart in bed.

Fartartist

I'm a fart-artist. The fart is silent

German Sausage Joke

I love eating German sausage, but it always gives me the wurst farts.

Switched Toothpaste Fart Joke

I accidentally switched toothpaste with hemorrhoid cream. Now my sore tooth's better and my farts are minty fresh.

I Farted In A Room Of Hipsters Joke

I farted in a room of hipsters. I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.

Hold A Fart Joke

Farts I hold in! You might not get it. It's sort of an inside joke.

What Are Farts?

Farts are ghosts of things we eat!

Fart Or Pun

Do you know the difference between a fart and a pun?

Text A Fart Joke

Did you hear about the new text-a-fart service?

Clowns Farts

What is a clowns fart made of?

Fart Just One Time Joke

Sometimes, When you are happy... no one sees your smile... When you cry ... no one sees your tears... But fart just one time!

Kids Are Like Farts Joke

Kids are like farts, I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own.

Middle Eastern Food

What happens when you eat middle eastern food?

Cow Farts

What does a cow's fart smell like?

Sudden Fart

What do you call a sudden fart?

Farting Russian

What do you call a farting Russian?

Bad Coffee

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

Terrible Breath

Don had terrible breath. One weekend he and his buddy Roger went on a camping trip. They only had one tent so they would have to sleep together. Don's breath was so bad that Roger couldn't stand it in the small closed space of that tent, so he told Don everytime he wanted to say something he should poke him first, then Roger would put his head under their blanket before Don started talking. Right after hearing that, Don promptly pokes Roger who runs for cover under the blanket to hear Don whisper: "Sorry, I farted."

Teenagers Are Like Farts

How's a fart like a teenager alike?

New Frangrance

I just released my own fragrance... Nobody in the car seemed to like it.

Skeleton Burp

Why did the skeleton burp?

Church Fart Pun

He who farts In church, sits In his own pew.

Fart After Pee

Why do women fart after they pee?

Ninja Fart

Why is a ninja is like a fart.

Smells Like Mice

What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice?

Drinking Buddies

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Trinidad. One day at the airport they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?' So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?' Dave says, 'I feel great, how about you?'Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?' Dave says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..' Yeah, well there's just one thing.' What's that? 'Have you farted yet? No.' Well, DON'T - cause I'm in Barbados......

Onions And Beans Joke

What do you get if you eat onions on your beans?

Blacksmith Fart Joke

How does a blacksmith know you farted?

Irish Chili Joke

Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!

Fart Pick Up Line

Did you just fart?

What Do You Call Poop That Comes Out With A Fart Joke

What do you call poop that comes out with a fart?

Beer And Beans.

I want to open a bar that serves nothing but expensive beer and baked beans. I'll call it Farts & Crafts.

Emotions And Farts

Emotions are like farts. You can only hold them in for so long.

What Is Born Skinless, Flies Wingless And Sings Until It Dies

What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies?

Teacher Fart

What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public?

Your Voice Reminds Me Of A Fart Joke

Your voice reminds me of a fart. It smells and nobody likes it.

Another Name For A Burp

What is a burp?

Clown Fart Smell

If a clown farts does it smell funny?

Elephant Fart Joke

What is the difference between a drinking establishment and an elephant's fart?

Fart In Church

What Happens when you fart in church?

The Only Art Coming Out Of You Joke

The only art coming out of you is in a fart!

Fart Chemistry

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart?

Blame It On The Waiter

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red-faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

Orbital Flatulence Joke

My thesis on Orbital Flatulence took seven years of hard work. Well, that's what I tell everyone. I was really just farting around.

Face Mask

Thinking a face mask is going to stop Corona Virus is like thinking you underwear will stop a fart.

The Definition Of Bravery

Bravery is when you have a diarrhea and are trying to fart.

NASA Farts

What happens after NASA farts?

Bad Joke

Bad jokes are like farts, better to let them pass.

New Deodorant

I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said, "Remove cap and push up bottom." Now I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely!

Silent Farts That Don't Stink

An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up. "Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!" The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way. Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up. "Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!" The doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing..."

Man's Best Friend Fart Joke

Why is the dog man's best friend?

Sharpest Thing In The World

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

«
1
2
»

Joke Categories