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Joke: My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk.
Joke: Has anyone else used WD40 to get rid of mice?
Joke: Did you know there are no canaries on the Canary Islands? Same as with the Virgin Islands... No canaries there either.
Joke: I had a date last night and I really enjoyed it. So tonight I'm going to try a fig.
Joke: I've no idea why my new plug in air freshener won't work, I plug it in and switch it on.. nothing!....It just doesn't make scents.
Joke: My whole life I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair... Somehow, I just knew.
Joke: A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don’t know, some dumb woman asking if the coast is clear."
Joke: Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Joke: I used to think drinking alcohol was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.
Joke: Quitting Is Easy, It's Not Starting Again That's Hard.