66 HALLOWEEN JOKES FOR KIDS AND ADULTS

Question 1

Halloween Screwdriver Costume Joke

For Halloween I dressed up as a screwdriver... I turned a few heads .

Question 2

Zombie Looks Joke

Why don’t zombies care about looks?

Question 3

Skeleton At A Restaurant Joke

What's a skeleton's favorite thing to order at a restaruant?

Question 4

Wolf Joke

When you teach a wolf to meditate he becomes aware wolf!

Question 5

Ghost Didn't Eat His Candy Joke

Why didn't the ghost eat his candy?

Question 6

What Are Farts?

Farts are ghosts of things we eat!

Question 7

Cross Bambi And A Ghost Joke

What Do You Get If You Cross Bambi With A Ghost?

Question 8

Halloween Cowboy

One Halloween, a boy dressed up as a cowboy. He went to a house, and an elderly lady opened the door. She said, "What might you be?" and the kid in front of the boy said, "I'm an Indian! All day, I hunt buffalo and make teepees and wigwams!" and the lady gave him some candy. Then the boy was up in line. The elderly lady said, "What might you be?" and he replied, "I'm a cowboy! All-day, I round up cattle and take them to corrals!" The lady gave him some candy. So he went to the next house, and a scorching hot teenage girl opened the door. She said, "What might you be?" and the girl in front of the boy said, "I'm a lesbian. All-day I think of women, all afternoon I think of women, and all night I think of women." The teenage girl gave her some candy, and next the boy was up. The teenage girl said, "What might you be?" The boy looked her up and down, and said, "Well, I thought I was a cowboy!"

Question 9

Brunette Joke #4

What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?

Question 10

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Question 11

Headless Horseman Halloween Joke

Why did the headless horseman start his own business?

Question 12

Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke

What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?

Question 13

Ghost Day Car Joke

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Question 14

Perfect Halloween Costume

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate. Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co. The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part. Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co. Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple. Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

Question 15

One Halloween Night....

One Halloween a man was walking down the street and heard a thumping noise behind him. Looking behind him he saw a coffin following him, upright. He was a bit nervous and began walking a little bit faster. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump". He began running and the coffin kept up and began opening and closing, ""thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". Terrified he ran to his front door, and went inside, slamming the door and locking it. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump - CRASH" it came right through the door, He ran up the stairs, and right behind him, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". He rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door, but the coffin broke through the door - "thumpety thump, thumpety thump crash". Terrified the man grabbed the first thing he could, a bottle of Robitussin and threw it - and the coffin stopped!

Question 16

Halloween Vampire And Snowman Joke

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Question 17

Dracula Halloween Joke

Why is Dracula so easy to trick on Halloween?

Question 18

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Why are ghosts bad liars?

Question 19

Halloween Skeleton Joke

How much does a skeleton weigh?

Question 20

Which Witch Watch Halloween Joke

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

66 HALLOWEEN JOKES FOR KIDS AND ADULTS

Halloween Screwdriver Costume Joke

Zombie Looks Joke

Skeleton At A Restaurant Joke

Wolf Joke

Ghost Didn't Eat His Candy Joke

What Are Farts?

Cross Bambi And A Ghost Joke

Halloween Cowboy

Brunette Joke #4

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

Headless Horseman Halloween Joke

Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke

Ghost Day Car Joke

Perfect Halloween Costume

One Halloween Night....

Halloween Vampire And Snowman Joke

Dracula Halloween Joke

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Halloween Skeleton Joke

Which Witch Watch Halloween Joke

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