45 NATIONAL JOKES

Question 1

A Mexican Magician Joke

A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of 3. He said uno, dos, and poof, he disappeared without a tres!

Question 2

Roman Numerals

A Roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter, "five beers, please."

Question 3

Irish Chili Joke

Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!

Question 4

German Sausage Pun

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

Question 5

Germany Jokes

What does a German say when he sneezes?

Question 6

Farting Russian

What do you call a farting Russian?

Question 7

German Sausage Joke

I love eating German sausage, but it always gives me the wurst farts.

Question 8

Gassy Greek

What do you call a gassy greek?

Question 9

Gassy Scotsman

what do you call a gassy Scotsman?

Punch Line

VOTE

Question 10

Saint Patrick

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. One of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser." "Oh really? Hmm, didn't know that." Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off...watch and learn." So the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!" "Oh really? Hmm, didn't know that." Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!" The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off... just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!" "Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."

Question 11

Korean Martial Artist Joke

I once met a Korean martial artist who was giving away free chocolate bars. I asked him if I could take two. He said “No! You can Taekwondo.”

Question 12

Say Grace

Does your family say a prayer before you eat food? Nope, we're Italian, my mom knows how to cook.

Question 13

Brief Fart

New Mexican word for today: Brief.

Question 14

I Was A Kamikaze Pilot

I went out for Chinese food last night and got chatting with the waiter. He told me he lived in Japan during the war and was a kamikaze pilot and his code name was "Chow Mein". I said, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't kamikaze pilots sacrifice their own lives?" To which he replied, "Yes, but I was Chicken Chow Mein"

Question 15

Irish Carpenter Joke

Two Irishmen were hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picks up a nail, realizes it's upside down and throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says, Why are you throwing them away?" "Because, they're upside down", says Paddy. "You daft twat!", replies Murphy, "Save'em for the ceiling!"

Question 16

Two Italians On A Bus

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: ''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.'' ''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.'' ''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''

Question 17

Crime And Punishment

Three men are traveling in the Amazon: a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican. They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazonians. The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. The tribe chief says to the Candian, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The Canadian responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times. When he is finished the Canadian has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazonians haul the Canadian away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!, I will take my punishment like a real man!" says the Mexican, and he boldly stands there and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch. Finally, it's the Yank's turn and the tribal chief asks: "What will you take on your back?" And he responds - "I'll take the Mexican!"

Question 18

Irish Furniture Pun

Who is Irish and sits outside all day?

Question 19

Athens Sunrise Pun

Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?

Question 20

A Scotsman And His Wife

A Scotsman and his wife walk past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It smells absolutely incredible!" Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the hell..., I'll treat her!" So, they walked past it again.

45 NATIONAL JOKES

National Jokes

A Mexican Magician Joke

Roman Numerals

Irish Chili Joke

German Sausage Pun

Germany Jokes

Farting Russian

German Sausage Joke

Gassy Greek

Gassy Scotsman

Saint Patrick

Korean Martial Artist Joke

Say Grace

Brief Fart

I Was A Kamikaze Pilot

Irish Carpenter Joke

Two Italians On A Bus

Crime And Punishment

Irish Furniture Pun

Athens Sunrise Pun

A Scotsman And His Wife

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