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JOKES INDEX
Page 164 of 201
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User Car Dealer Joke
Joke:
It was in town last night and the local policeman was making his rounds, as he was checking the used car lot, he cam upon two old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it? Heavens no, we bought it. Then why don't you drive it away? We can't drive. Then why did you buy it? We were told that if you bought a used car here your would get screwed, so we're just waiting.
VOTE
Horny Talking Frog Joke
Joke:
What does a horny frog say?
Punch Line
VOTE
Jack And The Bean Stalk Joke
Joke:
My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk.
VOTE
Ex Wife Dress Joke
Joke:
Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ”Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ”Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.” A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.” Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear……I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.”
VOTE
Rodent Repellent Joke
Joke:
Has anyone else used WD40 to get rid of mice?
Punch Line
VOTE
Insurance Policy Joke
Joke:
I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my duvet is stolen in the middle of the night, I’m not covered.
VOTE
Canary Island Joke
Joke:
Did you know there are no canaries on the Canary Islands? Same as with the Virgin Islands... No canaries there either.
VOTE
Talking Frog Joke
Joke:
A 72-year-old man had one hobby - he loved to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, 'Are you talking to me?' The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!' The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his shirt pocket. The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?' I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.' He opened his pocket, looked at the frog, and said, 'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.' With age - comes wisdom!
VOTE
Horses Vs Cars Joke
Joke:
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.
VOTE
Electric Car License
Joke:
Does anybody know if you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car?
VOTE
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