441 WORD PLAY JOKES

Question 1

Breakfast Bar

Whenever I try and eat healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers!

Question 2

What Soft Drink Do Pigs Like Best?

What soft drink do pigs like best?

Question 3

You Know It Right?

It's CORN! + Who let the DOGS OUT? What is it?

Question 4

What Do You Do When Your Nose Goes On Strike

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?

Question 5

Bono And Edge Walk Into A Bar Joke

Bono and Edge walk into a bar. The bartender says,"Not U2 again."

Question 6

Melon Joke

Why do melons have weddings?

Question 7

Actress Suicide

Hey, did you hear about the actress Reese... something, who commited suicide?

Question 8

Bully Got Toasted

Bully got toasted because...

Question 9

Forbidden Fruit Joke

How many bites of the forbidden fruit did Adam and Eve take?

Punch Line

VOTE

Question 10

What Did The Dog Say To The Tree Joke

What did the dog say to the tree?

Question 11

Why Are Sandals So Indecisive Joke

Why are sandals so indecisive?

Question 12

Wearing Glasses With A Mask

Did you know that people who have to wear glasses with their mask... may be entitled to condensation.

Question 13

Pig Halloween Costume Joke

What did the pig dress up as for Halloween?

Question 14

Wise Man Vs A Fool Joke

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.

Question 15

Two Prostitutes

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!" "Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled . . . "Their sign pertains to religion." So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day found the same police officer in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read: "Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50.00."

Question 16

Hispanic Friends

I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Hispanic friends... It means a lot to them!

Question 17

Tick Joke

Why can't ticks keep a secret?

Question 18

Landscape Joke

What is the funniest landscape?

Question 19

Small Lizard Joke

Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?

Question 20

What’s Brown And Sticky

What's brown and sticky?

Question 21

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

Two prawns were swimming around in the ocean. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area: Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn... He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again," Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian."

Question 22

Ghost Sailor Halloween Joke

What do you get if you cross a ghost with a sailor?

Question 23

What Part Of A Museum Has The Most Allergies?

What part of a museum has the most allergies?

Question 24

Tom The Turkey Joke

Tom the turkey played baseball... Unfortunately, he hit a fowl ball!

Question 25

Butterfly Dance Joke

Why wouldn't they let the butterfly in to the dance?

Question 26

Two Irishmen Joke

Two Irishmen saw the sign "Tree fellers wanted". The first Irishman said, "If Pat had been with us we'd have got that job."

Question 27

Chicken Salad Joke

What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Question 28

Telling Dad Jokes

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!

Question 29

Pensive Treat

Which tree is the most pensive?

Question 30

Dentists Kids Joke

How do the kids of dentists get around the neighborhood?

Question 31

Japanese Dog Hello Joke

How does a Japanese dog say hello?

Question 32

Frog Shoes Joke

What kind of shoes does a frog wear?

Question 33

Sam And Ellas Diner Joke

Be careful when you eat at Sam and Ella's diner.

Question 34

What's She Selling On The Beach Joke

A couple lived near the ocean and walked the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing, she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them. Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her. After a couple of weeks, the wife asked, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?" He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing." Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife on the road. "Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. "No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. "Well, what is it, then?" his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said. "She's selling batteries." "Batteries?" cried the wife. "Yes," he replied. "She sells C cells by the Seashore."

Question 35

Optometrist Music Joke

What music do optometrists listen to?

Question 36

Pig Mixes Colors Joke

What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?

Question 37

Grease Joke

I told my therapist that I couldn't get the Grease Soundtrack out of my head.

Question 38

Popular Dance In 1776 Joke

What was the most popular dance in 1776?

Question 39

Leprechaun's Garden Joke

Why do Leprechauns like to garden?

Question 40

Butcher Overtime Joke

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

Question 41

Skeleton Go To School Joke

Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?

Question 42

In Which River Are You Sure To Find Snakes?

In which river are you sure to find snakes?

Question 43

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

Question 44

What Kind Of Cars Do Cats Drive Joke

What kind of cars do cats drive?

Question 45

Rabbi Circumcision Joke

Do you hear about the Rabbi who didn't charge for circumcisions?

Question 46

What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?

What kind of key opens a haunted house?

Question 47

Funny Farm Animals Joke

What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?

Question 48

Cow Friday Nights Joke

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

Question 49

Rich Rabbit Joke

What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?

Question 50

Helping Out A Friend Joke

My friend was down in the dumps the other day so I let her color the tattoo on the top of my arm. She just needed a shoulder to crayon.

Question 51

A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Hey." The horse replies, "Sure!"

Question 52

Whisper In Clas Joke

Why can't you whisper in class?

Question 53

Monsters Favorite Play Joke

What's a monster's favorite play?

Question 54

Kidnapped By Mimes Joke

I was kidnapped by mimes... They did unspeakable things to me.

Question 55

Ipad Thief Joke

The guy who stole my iPad... He should FaceTime!

Question 56

Joke Lol

Why do we tell actors to "Break a leg"?

Question 57

Happy Dwarf Joke

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Question 58

Taco Tuesday Joke

Seven days without a taco makes Juan weak!

Question 59

Paleontologists Joke

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.

Question 60

Science Book Joke

Why were the two science books holding hands?

Question 61

Marketing Joke

Why don't marketers like trampolines?

Question 62

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

What do you call a group of lions marching in the savannah?

Question 63

Another Personal Trainer Joke

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough... I've just handed in my TOO WEAK notice!

Question 64

Art Museum Joke

Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

441 WORD PLAY JOKES

Breakfast Bar

What Soft Drink Do Pigs Like Best?

You Know It Right?

What Do You Do When Your Nose Goes On Strike

Bono And Edge Walk Into A Bar Joke

Melon Joke

Actress Suicide

Bully Got Toasted

Forbidden Fruit Joke

What Did The Dog Say To The Tree Joke

Why Are Sandals So Indecisive Joke

Wearing Glasses With A Mask

Pig Halloween Costume Joke

Wise Man Vs A Fool Joke

Two Prostitutes

Hispanic Friends

Tick Joke

Landscape Joke

Small Lizard Joke

What’s Brown And Sticky

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

Ghost Sailor Halloween Joke

What Part Of A Museum Has The Most Allergies?

Tom The Turkey Joke

Butterfly Dance Joke

Two Irishmen Joke

Chicken Salad Joke

Telling Dad Jokes

Pensive Treat

Dentists Kids Joke

Japanese Dog Hello Joke

Frog Shoes Joke

Sam And Ellas Diner Joke

What's She Selling On The Beach Joke

Optometrist Music Joke

Pig Mixes Colors Joke

Grease Joke

Popular Dance In 1776 Joke

Leprechaun's Garden Joke

Butcher Overtime Joke

Skeleton Go To School Joke

In Which River Are You Sure To Find Snakes?

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

What Kind Of Cars Do Cats Drive Joke

Rabbi Circumcision Joke

What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?

Funny Farm Animals Joke

Cow Friday Nights Joke

Rich Rabbit Joke

Helping Out A Friend Joke

A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke

Whisper In Clas Joke

Monsters Favorite Play Joke

Kidnapped By Mimes Joke

Ipad Thief Joke

Joke Lol

Happy Dwarf Joke

Taco Tuesday Joke

Paleontologists Joke

Science Book Joke

Marketing Joke

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

Another Personal Trainer Joke

Art Museum Joke

Pizza Joke

Trees Poop Joke

French Stubbed Toe Joke

Pig Dressed In Black Joke

PhD In Dad Jokes

Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe Joke

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

Condensation In Home Joke

Laughing Dog Joke

Why Did The Author Put On A Sweater?

Dolly Parton Diet

Mother Of Jesus Joke

Dog Zoo Joke

Steal A Coat Joke

Building With The Most Stories Joke