The Joker

Question 1

Kid Playing Pirate Pun

A kid was playing outside and came in for some lunch when his mom asked him what he had been doing. "I was playing pirates with my friends," the kid says. "That's nice, where are your buccaneers now?" his mom asks. The kid answers "they're under my buckin' hat mom."

Question 2

Cow Bells

Why do cows wear bells?

Question 3

Banana Sunscreen Joke

Why do bananas wear sunscreen?

Question 4

No Eye Dear Joke

What do you call a deer with no eyes? ...no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? ....still no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs having sex? ...still fucking no eye deer.

Question 5

Geico Pun

if Geico ever fired the gecko that would be a reptile disfunction.

Question 6

My Best Friend And My Wife Joke

"Yesterday, my wife ran away with my best friend Steve." Said, Roger. Brian replied, "Since when is Steve your best friend?" Roger replied, "Since yesterday."

Question 7

Restaurant On The Moon Pun

I would never open a restaurant on the moon....no atmosphere.

Question 8

Share Everything Joke

An elderly couple goes to a fast food place where they carefully split a burger and fries. A man takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal. ''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.'' A few minutes later, the guy notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he offers again. ''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.'' Unconvinced, the guy asks the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?'' The wife snaps back, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''

Question 9

My Wife And I Were Happy Joke

My wife and I were really happy for 22 years... Then we started dating.

Question 10

Political Term Limits

A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail.

Question 11

High Standards

If all else fails... lower your standards.

Question 12

The Loan Ranger And Tonto Go Into A Saloon

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do....Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the saloon to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" "Nothing, but you left your injun runnin!"

Question 13

Red, White, Blue And Green Joke

What's red, white and blue, and green?

Question 14

Skydiving Joke

If you go Skydiving, and your parachute fails, you have the rest of your life to try to fix it.

Question 15

Not Your Cheese Joke

What kind of cheese can never be yours?

Question 16

I'm Giving Up

I'm posting this with a heavy heart... As much as I love photography and everything that comes with it, it is taking up too much of my time. I am struggling to keep up with the everyday basics of cleaning, cooking, and maintaining the home. So something has to give. I have decided to get rid of my gear. Below is a list of what is available. Serious inquiries only, no stupid offers please. Thanks for reading and understanding. Here is what I have for sale: 1. Vacuum cleaner 2. Dustpan and brush 3. Mop and bucket 4. Cat 5. Iron 6. Laundry detergent 7. Various Mr Muscle products Thank you.

Question 17

Never Finish Anything Joke

I never finish anything... I have a black belt in partial arts.

Question 18

Electric Car License

Does anybody know if you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car?

Question 19

Why Do You Call A Cougar Thats Into Anal?

Why do you call a cougar thats into anal?

Question 20

A Woman Scorn

A Woman tried to cut off her lover's penis, missed and cut his thigh, charged with a misdaweiner.

Question 21

What Did The Egg Say To The Boing Water Joke

What did the egg say to the boing water?

Question 22

What Do You Get When You Cross A Chef And A Meteorologist?

What do you get when you cross a chef and a meteorologist?

Question 23

Pro's And Con's

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Question 24

Free Parking

Did you hear about the stupid blonde?

Question 25

Wife Owners Manual Joke

Anyone have an owners manual for a wife? Mine's making a whining noise.

Question 26

Hot Garlic Joke

What does garlic do when it gets hot?

Question 27

Tomato Juice Is Good For You Joke

There's nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul. Even if it's cold, over ice, with a celery stock... and vodka.

Question 28

Janitor Out Of The Closet Joke

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Question 29

What Does It Take To Be An Organ Donor?

What does it take to be an organ donor?

Question 30

Talk In My Sleep Joke

My wife says that I talk in my sleep but I don't believe her... nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

The Joker

Kid Playing Pirate Pun

Cow Bells

Banana Sunscreen Joke

No Eye Dear Joke

Geico Pun

My Best Friend And My Wife Joke

Restaurant On The Moon Pun

Share Everything Joke

My Wife And I Were Happy Joke

Political Term Limits

High Standards

The Loan Ranger And Tonto Go Into A Saloon

Red, White, Blue And Green Joke

Skydiving Joke

Not Your Cheese Joke

I'm Giving Up

Never Finish Anything Joke

Electric Car License

Why Do You Call A Cougar Thats Into Anal?

A Woman Scorn

What Did The Egg Say To The Boing Water Joke

What Do You Get When You Cross A Chef And A Meteorologist?

Pro's And Con's

Free Parking

Wife Owners Manual Joke

Hot Garlic Joke

Tomato Juice Is Good For You Joke

Janitor Out Of The Closet Joke

What Does It Take To Be An Organ Donor?

Talk In My Sleep Joke

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