The Joker

Question 1

Cat The Doesn't Tell The Truth Joke

What do you call a cat that doesn't tell the truth?

Question 2

Baby Fish Sleep Joke

Where do baby fish sleep?

Question 3

Why Do Male Dogs Float In Water Joke

Why do male dogs float in water?

Question 4

Polar Bear Favorite Food Joke

What do polar bears like to eat?

Question 5

Singing In The Shower

Singing in the shower is all fun and game until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Question 6

Water Tower Joke

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Question 7

Sick Ant Joke

Why don't ants get sick?

Question 8

Vegetarian Chile Joke

My Child doesn't want to eat meat. What can I replace it with?

Question 9

Irish Carpenter Joke

Two Irishmen were hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picks up a nail, realizes it's upside down and throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says, Why are you throwing them away?" "Because, they're upside down", says Paddy. "You daft twat!", replies Murphy, "Save'em for the ceiling!"

Question 10

Happy Frogs Joke

Why are frogs so happy?

Question 11

Electrical Work Pun

It shocks me how bad I am at electrical work around the house.

Question 12

What Women Want

I asked, "Alexa, what do women want?" It hasn't shut up for nine days!

Question 13

Cow In An Earthquake Joke

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

Question 14

Rabbit Joke

What do you call a rabbit that tells a good joke?

Question 15

Rabbit With Fleas Joke

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Question 16

Dogs Can't Read

Dogs can't read an MRI but CATScan!

Question 17

How To Solve 100% Of Your Problems

Yesterday I saw a book called "How to solve 50% of your problems", so I bought two.

Question 18

McDonalds Order Joke

I went to McDonald's and slammed ten bucks on the counter and said, "Surprise me! Because I never get what I ask for anyway!"

Question 19

Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant Joke

Doctor: Your girlfriend Is pregnant. Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have sex. Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the condom broke? Guy: No I'm sure it didn't. Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story... A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts BANG at the tiger. The tiger died. Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger. Doctor: Exactly.

Question 20

How Do You Spell Orange Joke.

I never called you stupid, but when I asked you to spell "orange", and you asked me the fruit or the color it kinda caught me off guard.

Question 21

Captain Obvious

Do you ever notice that when geese fly in a "V" formation, one side is always longer than the other?

Question 22

Florist Joke

The first five florist I called knew nothing about carpet or tile. And suddenly I'm the idiot.

Question 23

Song Composer Pun

My friend composes songs about sewing machines. He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.

Question 24

Two Lesbians In A Closet Joke

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

Question 25

Voting Elves Joke

Where do Elves go to vote?

Question 26

Hawaiian Pizza

I just burnt this Hawaiian pizza. Guess I should have used aloha temperature.

Question 27

Fried Chicken Joke

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too, especially chicken, pork, and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...

Question 28

2000 Year Old Stain Joke

I saw a 2000 years old stain... It was from ancient greece.

Question 29

Refusing To Nap Joke

I refuse to take a nap... Is that resisting a rest?

Question 30

Grandma On Speed Dial

I put grandma on speed dial and now I have Insta-Gram!

The Joker

Cat The Doesn't Tell The Truth Joke

Baby Fish Sleep Joke

Why Do Male Dogs Float In Water Joke

Polar Bear Favorite Food Joke

Singing In The Shower

Water Tower Joke

Sick Ant Joke

Vegetarian Chile Joke

Irish Carpenter Joke

Happy Frogs Joke

Electrical Work Pun

What Women Want

Cow In An Earthquake Joke

Rabbit Joke

Rabbit With Fleas Joke

Dogs Can't Read

How To Solve 100% Of Your Problems

McDonalds Order Joke

Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant Joke

How Do You Spell Orange Joke.

Captain Obvious

Florist Joke

Song Composer Pun

Two Lesbians In A Closet Joke

Voting Elves Joke

Hawaiian Pizza

Fried Chicken Joke

2000 Year Old Stain Joke

Refusing To Nap Joke

Grandma On Speed Dial

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