418 DAD JOKES

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Joke: A parachutist is falling towards earth and can't get his parachute to open. Surprisingly he sees a guy flying up from earth and yells over to him "hey do you know anything about parachutes?" the other guys respond "no, do you know anything about gas grills?!
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Joke: The reason you can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom is because the pee is silent.
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Dad Jokes
Joke: The local pet store is having a free giveaway on birds today...no perches necessary.
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Joke: What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Punch Line
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Joke: Why Iron-man and not Fe-male?
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Dad Jokes
Joke: Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. Paid my $2, then he says, "Once upon a time there was this lobster...".
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Joke: Your pants won't get to tight if you don't wear any.
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Joke: My wife yelled down from upstairs and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied, "No." She responded, "How about now?"
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Dad Jokes
Joke: A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father replied, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies of their own, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said. "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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Joke: Ate two cans of Alphabet Soup. Had a terrible vowel movement.
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