418 DAD JOKES

Joke: Did you hear about the pig with laryngitis?

Joke: Why are pigs bad drivers?

Joke: What do you call a pig thief?

Joke: How does a pig write a letter?

Joke: Why didn't the lamp sink?

Joke: What's a golfer's favorite letter?

Joke: A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SHIT."

Joke: Did you know... Sharks will only attack you when you're wet?

Joke: A wise man once told his wife nothing, because he was a wise man.

Joke: It's gardening season. 6 weeks ago I planted my arse on the sofa. It's grown considerably