81 BAR & DRINKING JOKES

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Joke: Someone sent me an email about using vodka for cleaning around the house... it worked! The more vodka I drank, the cleaner the house looked.
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Joke: Some very sad news. My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks.
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Bar & Drinking Jokes
Joke: A Roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter, "five beers, please."
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Joke: Two jumper cables walk into a bar and the bartender says you better not start something here.
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Joke: I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
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Bar & Drinking Jokes
Joke: Did you hear about the weasel that walked into a bar in Minnesota? The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel!
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Joke: I was drinking a margarita at a bar when a waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet!" and we all laughed and laughed. Well. except one guy.
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Joke: Did you know that fourteen muscles are activated when you open a bottle of wine? Fitness is my passion.
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Bar & Drinking Jokes
Joke: A little know fact... Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.
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Joke: Last night my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, "I never want to live in a vegetive state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." They got up, unplugged my computer and threw away my wine! The little ingrates.
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