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Joke: A man walks into a bar and there is a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. The man asks the bartender what's the deal with the meat and the bartender explains that if you jump up and slap a piece of meat you get to drink free for the night, but if you miss you have to buy drinks for everyone in the bar. So the bartender asks him if he wants to go for it. The guy tells him, "I can't, the steaks are just too high."
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Joke: An Irishman walks into a bar and orders 3 pints of Guinness. He then proceeds to take a sip from the first, then a sip from the second, then a sip from the third, and starts again with a sip from the first, then second, and on. The bartender asks what he was up to, and he replied "I have 2 brothers, one lives in New York and one in Sydney, and since I can’t drink with them, I order 3 pints of Guinness and take a sip in turn from each one; and they also do the same in New York and Sydney" So each day the Irishman would come into the bar, order his 3 pints of Guinness and everyone got to know his story. One day, he walks in and orders only 2 pints of Guinness… The bar goes silent. Finally, the bartender approaches him and says "On behalf of everyone at the bar, I want to extend our condolences on the passing of your brother…" The Irishman replied, "Oh, no, it’s not that!! I just gave up drinking."
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Bar & Drinking Jokes
Joke: I'm on the tequila diet. So far I've lost 2 days.
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Joke: Warning! Coffee can make you aggressive. Yesterday I had 15 beers at the bar, and my wife had 3 cups of coffee at home. When I got home she was extremely pissed off.
Punch Line
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Joke: Friend, "On average, how much do you spend on a bottle of wine?
Punch Line
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Bar & Drinking Jokes
Joke: They should put more wine in a bottle... so there's enough for two people.
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Joke: Tried cooking with wine last night, after 5 glasses,... I forgot why I was in the kitchen.
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Joke: Times New Roman and Helvetica walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type in here."
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Bar & Drinking Jokes
Joke: I drank so much wine last night, when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.
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Joke: I found $20 in a parking lot and thought to myself, What would Jesus do?
Punch Line
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