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Kid Jokes

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Joke: My mum told me that picking my nose was disgusting, and from now on, I had to pick it myself.
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Joke: 1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. 3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. 4. Stay away from prunes. 5. Never pee on an electric fence. 6. Don't squat with your spurs on. 7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. 8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. 9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. 10. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. 11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. 13. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. 14. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. 15. Never try to baptize a cat.
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. 3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. 4. Stay away from prunes. 5. Never pee on an electric fence. 6. Don't squat with your spurs on. 7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. 8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. 9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. 10. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. 11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. 13. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. 14. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. 15. Never try to baptize a cat. Joke Meme.
Joke: What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
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Joke: What kind of animal needs to wear a wig?
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Joke: How far can you run in the woods?
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 Joke Meme.
Joke: What did the big chimney say to the small one?
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Joke: Mummy, mummy. There's a man at the door with a bill.
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Joke: In the cafeteria of a Catholic school, the children were lined up for lunch. At the head of the line was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and she had placed it in front of the apples. The note read: "Take only one, God is watching." Further down the cafeteria line was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies... One of the boys had written a note of his own. The note he placed in front of the cookies read: "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."
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 Joke Meme.
Joke: Where do you take someone when they've been in a peek-a-boo accident?
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Joke: Why are pirates great singers?
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Joke: How much does a pirate pay for corn?
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Joke: You are in a car travelling at a constant speed. On your left is a valley, and on your right is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car, and you can't overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter, flying at ground level; both are travelling at the same speed as you. What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?
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Joke: What did they give Tickle-Me-Elmo before he left the factory?
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Joke: What day of the week does a potato hate the most?
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Joke: What is the capital of Texas?
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Joke: Why did the student eat his homework?
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Joke: What do you call a city where hamsters live?
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Joke: What do you call an old apple?
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Joke: What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
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Joke: What did the Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
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