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Jokers
The Joker
Joke Count: 1231
Definition Of A Stalker
Joke:
The definition of a stalker is when two people go on a long romantic walk together but only one really knows about it.
VOTE
Four Leaf Clover Joke
Joke:
What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
Punch Line
VOTE
Valentines Day Joke
Joke:
What did one penny say to the other penny on Valentine's day?
Punch Line
VOTE
Mickey And Minne Mouse Divorce
Joke:
I understand that Mickey and Minne Mouse are getting a divorce. When the judge asked Mickey why he wants to divorce Minnie and he merely replied..."she's f*cking goofy"
VOTE
Gold Digger Joke
Joke:
A 65 year old millionaire has married a beautiful 23 old model, You crafty old devil, says his friend, How did you manage to get a lovely wife like that? Easy, replies the millionaire, I told her I was 95...
VOTE
What Did One Boat Say To The Other Boat On Valentines Day?
Joke:
What did one boat say to the other?
Punch Line
VOTE
Three Men Die In A Car Crash Joke
Joke:
After dying in a car crash, three friends went to Heaven for an orientation session. They were all asked the same question: When you were in your casket and your family and friends were mourning over you, what would you like to hear when they talk about you? The first guy responded: "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatest doctors of my time and a great family man." The second guy said: "I would love to hear that I was a wonderful husband and a school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow" Then the third guy thought for a while and then replied: "I guess I'd like to hear them say: 'Look.. he's moving"
VOTE
A Blonde Prays To Win The Lottery Joke
Joke:
A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I’m gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery." Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once." Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak. "Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket."
VOTE
Rasin Date Joke
Joke:
Why did the raisin go out with the prune?
Punch Line
VOTE
Other Side Of The Lake Joke
Joke:
Standing on the edge of the lake, someone shouted across "How do you get to the other side?"
Punch Line
VOTE
Used Grapes Jokes
Joke:
If you advertise used grapes... Is that raisin awareness?
VOTE
If You Love Someone Joke
Joke:
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody else wanted them. Set them free again.
VOTE
Caveman Valentine’s Day
Joke:
What does a caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Punch Line
VOTE
Banker Joke
Joke:
A banker gets into a car accident. He was driving his Ferrari, stopped, opened his door, and another car zoomed by, hit and ripped off the door. The banker jumps out of the car and shouts, "My Ferrari! My Ferrari!" A man is passing by and notes, "You bankers. You're all about money. You're worried about your Ferrari and not even noticing that your arm was ripped off along with that door." The banker looks at his missing arm and shouts, "My Rolex! My Rolex!!"
VOTE
Scrabble Tiles Joke
Joke:
Did you hear about the dog that ate the Scrabble tiles?
Punch Line
VOTE
Pastry Chef Love Joke
Joke:
Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
Punch Line
VOTE
Bosses And Diapers
Joke:
Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!
VOTE
Camping Sex
Joke:
What is sex like when you're camping?
Punch Line
VOTE
What Did The Turkey Say To The Computer Joke
Joke:
What did the turkey say to the computer?
Punch Line
VOTE
Laundry Joke
Joke:
Laundry: Washing - 30 minutes, drying - 60 minutes, putting away - 7 to 10 business days.
VOTE
Nice Lawn Joke
Joke:
I have a chicken-proof lawn... It's impeckable!
VOTE
Comedic Dreams
Joke:
Always wanted to be a comedian but everyone just laughed at me!
VOTE
Blood Pun
Joke:
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.
VOTE
How Many Feet In A Yard
Joke:
How many feet are in a yard?
Punch Line
VOTE
Pregnancy Test
Joke:
I was shopping in a large pharmacy and asked one of the wandering assistants, "Excuse me, where can I find a pregnancy test?" "No problem," he said. "They're right beside the condoms." I said, "Id I knew where the condoms were I wouldn't need a pregnancy test."
VOTE
Handy Man Joke
Joke:
I hired a handy man and gave home a list of jobs to do. When I got home, only #1, #3 and #5 were done. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
VOTE
Insurance Policy Joke
Joke:
I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my duvet is stolen in the middle of the night, I’m not covered.
VOTE
What Did Chris Rock Find On His Face After The Oscars?
Joke:
What did Chris Rock find on his face after the Oscars?
Punch Line
VOTE
Coming Home From Business Trip Joke
Joke:
A mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened?", she asks anxiously. "What happened! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife, with a guy in our bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!" "Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened." Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "I told you there must be a simple explanation... she didn't get the email."
VOTE
Day After Easter Joke
Joke:
What do you call the Easter Bunny the Monday after Easter?
Punch Line
VOTE
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116
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302
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5
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402
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6
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8
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43
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