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Amish Elevator

A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time. They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually, they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son… "Junior, go get your Mother."

Golf Vs. Skydiver

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

Doing The Impossible

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.

Federal Employee Joke

How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Mal Practice

A woman sued a Hospital stating that after a recent treatment her husband had lost all interest in sex. The Hospital in their defense stated... "All we did was correct his eyesight!"

Mom's Lunch Joke

What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?

George Washington's Hatchet

Where did George Washington get his hatchet?

Not Only...

Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.

What Do You Call A Cat Caught By The Police Joke

What do you call a cat caught by the police?

Red, White, Blue And Green Joke

What's red, white and blue, and green?

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