Joke: An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She said to the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby brooch and Rolex watch." "But you aren't wearing any of those things," said the artist. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."