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Hellman Mayonnaise Joke

Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. Mexicans were crazy about the stuff. The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate ("desperados") at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as ...Sinko de Mayo.

Playing With Our Words

A man's wife was in labor with their first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly the man's wife began to shout, "Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!!" The man said, "Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?" The doctor replied, "Nothing. She's just having contractions."

Puns — Playing With Our Words Joke Meme.

Red & Purple

Two ships, one carrying a cargo of red paint, the other carrying a cargo of purple paint, ran aground on a desert island. The sailors are now marooned.

Sauna Restaurant Joke

Have you heard about the sauna that serves food?

Pondering Thoughts

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Puns — Pondering thoughts Joke Meme

2000 Flushes

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Elevator Fart

I once farted in an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.

Hold A Fart Joke

Farts I hold in! You might not get it. It's sort of an inside joke.

Puns — Hold a Fart Joke Joke Meme

Church Fart Pun

He who farts In church, sits In his own pew.

Fart Sword Joke

I asked my wife if she was going to make a sword out of my fart in bed last night. Cuz she schmelt it!

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