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Work Jokes

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Joke: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I should have never taken a couple days off.
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Joke: What do kangaroos wear to work?
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What do kangaroos wear to work? Joke Meme.
Joke: My job is secure. No one else wants it.
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Joke: I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A women asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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Joke: What's the difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser?
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 Joke Meme.
Joke: A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week." The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT!" Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks " Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "He just delivered the pizzas"
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Joke: I called my boss and asked if I could come in a little late. He said, "Dream on." I think that was really nice of him.
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Joke: I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra!" That's a freebie.
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 Joke Meme.
Joke: We have studied Americans' favorite sports and came up with a conclusion. 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. 5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF. AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
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Joke: I have a lot of unemployment jokes but none of them work.
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Joke: Why did the baker open a tortilla factory?
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Joke: My friend quit his job as manager of a muffler shop. Said he was tired of coming home every night exhausted.
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Joke: What kind of bird works at a construction site?
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Joke: Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"
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Joke: I Called my work this morning and said, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough." He said, "You have a wee cough?" I said, "Really, Thanks boss, see you next week!"
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Joke: I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker... But when I got home all the signs were there!
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Joke: What does the painter do when he gets cold?
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Joke: Out of all the inventions over the last 100 years, the dry erase board is the most remarkable.
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Joke: Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
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Joke: A man was riding in a cab one day when he decided to tap the cab driver on the shoulder to request an alternate route. The cab driver screams his head off and loses control of the cab, causing it to slam into a lightpost. After checking themselves out the man says, "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were so jumpy." To which the cab driver replies, "It's not your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver after driving a hearse for 10 years."
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