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Guy With No Arms And No Legs, In A Pot Of Boiling Water Joke

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in a pot of boiling water?

Book Fell On My Head Joke

Yesterday a book fell on my head... I only have my shelf to blame.

Football Player Who Likes Dad Jokes

What do you call a football player that likes dad jokes?

Christmas Is Cancelled Joke

Did you hear Christmas has been canceled? Apparently, Santa is in jail. He was caught last year laying a doll under a tree.

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

A honeymooning couple was passing through Louisiana. When they were approaching Lafayette, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they got to the town, where they decided to stop for lunch. As they stood at the counter, the man said, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us. Would you very slowly pronounce where we are?" The guy behind the corner leaned over and said, "Burrrrrrrr gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing"

Two Elephants Swimming Joke

Why did the two elephants decide not to go swimming together?

Horse Sport Joke

What sport do horses like playing the most?

Worse Than Raining Cats And Dogs Joke

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Candy Under Pillow Joke

Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

A Lawyer And His BMW

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!", he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!" "Oh my gaaaad...", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was. "Where's my Rolex?

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